Sometimes I fall into that self-judgment thing. Am I doing “good?” Am I doing “the right thing?” Am I making “good choices?” All of those, at root, are basically ways of asking the same question: “Am I good?” For me, and for many of my clients and friends, there is often an accompanying fear – doothers think I am good?
Sometimes my negative self-examination is about my work. Am I doing “goodenough?” or is there some other piece I “should” be developing? More and more I am realizing that my work, or my “soul purpose”, probably has nothing to do with my “job.” As an aside, the word “purpose” is pretty charged. We have a lot of assumptions about that one. But what if my “purpose” is simply to be present and enjoy it. Or, another way of saying it: be here and be happy. So here I am, watching my sense of “job” fall away as I open up to being here and being happy. Period.
Here is my latest (ancient) favorite tool for helping me to realign to “being here and being happy” – without justification of it! I’m sure you’ve heard of it. Maybe it will help you to be reminded. Here it is:
I am. That ancient statement still brings it all back into instant focus. I am. Period. I am Consciousness. I am Love. I am Alive. I am Life. I exist. I am Existence. I am.
Lately, when I get stressed and caught up in taking something seriously, I stop and close my eyes and feel into “I am.” From the “I am” perspective, there is no problem. Anything that my mind is worried about, any old stories that I am terrifying myself with – they all immediately feel small and insignificant. I am. I always have been and always will be. There is no problem. I also notice when I stop and say “I am” that Wellbeing is evident. No matter what “problem” I am concerned about, when I say “I am,” I notice that in that moment I am absolutely okay. I am always, ultimately, safe. “I am” just smiles at me when I say there is a big hairy “problem” that I “need” to “solve.”
Also, practicing “I am” sure takes care of questions of worthiness, value, or approval. Yes, it can be tempting to judge ourselves – or fear judgment about what others will think about us or our choices. However, from a place of “I am,” there is no need for any justification of self or any of our choices. I am. Period. No value to earn. No judgments to be made. A flower is. A mountain is. I am. All is well, and there’s nothing to achieve in order to be worthy of Love in all its forms. “I am” is love. “I am” = Love. I am. Love.
I am. And so are You.