Listen inside. There’s a gold mine in there! Your own inklings, hunches, niggles and sparks. We really do (as Abraham-Hicks says) have our own internal guidance system. We have a reliable place to go for the answers – inside. The guidance may change moment by moment, always giving us what is authentic for us, right now! The fact that the guidance changes and flows just reflects that we ourselves are changing, expanding beings. As we go, and as we grow in awareness and our needs change and evolve, our gut will give us the relevant answer for the now. We can trust our totally accurate gut information – even when it reverses itself! Our gut knows when the timing is right to act, not act, or to change directions entirely. Next time we need some guidance or to have a little light shed on a subject, let’s remember to take the time to go inside. Let’s have a chat with our gut. We can trust what we intuitively know, what we feel, and what our own bodies have to say on any subject.
You don’t have to try to be good. You are good. I’ve noticed a theme over the years with clients, friends, and myself. The drive to “be good.” Or, to “do it right.” And of course we are seeking approval, love and validation. From our parents, from society, from our peers, etc… ”Doing it right” is really subjective, depending on whose definition of “right” we are striving for! These are standards that we’re trying to live up to that have nothing to do with who each of us are, as individuals! The thing is, that people laying down rules of conduct and standards of behavior are often trying to enforce those rules because it is really much more convenient – for them! – if we behave in a way that makes them feel comfortable! Sometimes, the rules of conduct are supposed to be for our own safety. But the trouble with all these rules about “how to be good” is that they encourage us to follow voices and authorities outside of us. They divert us from feeling into things and deciding for ourselves. They steer us away from our own inner guidance system, and our own ability to know what is right and wrong for us as unique people. And what is right for us can change in any given moment, and is pretty hard to make any set of rules about.
I am here to say that if you being you according to you is inconvenient for anyone else, so what! It’s okay! You being you according to you is likely the whole reason you came here! Makes sense to me anyway – but listen to yourself on this and everything else! You can trust your intuition. You can trust yourself. You are good. Without even trying. We are pieces off the ol’ Divine Block! There is no way we can be anything but good. So, go forth into your effortless, fun goodness!
But first, a favorite poem by Mary Oliver:
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Sometimes I fall into that self-judgment thing. Am I doing “good?” Am I doing “the right thing?” Am I making “good choices?” All of those, at root, are basically ways of asking the same question: “Am I good?” For me, and for many of my clients and friends, there is often an accompanying fear – doothers think I am good?
Sometimes my negative self-examination is about my work. Am I doing “goodenough?” or is there some other piece I “should” be developing? More and more I am realizing that my work, or my “soul purpose”, probably has nothing to do with my “job.” As an aside, the word “purpose” is pretty charged. We have a lot of assumptions about that one. But what if my “purpose” is simply to be present and enjoy it. Or, another way of saying it: be here and be happy. So here I am, watching my sense of “job” fall away as I open up to being here and being happy. Period.
Here is my latest (ancient) favorite tool for helping me to realign to “being here and being happy” – without justification of it! I’m sure you’ve heard of it. Maybe it will help you to be reminded. Here it is:
I am. That ancient statement still brings it all back into instant focus. I am. Period. I am Consciousness. I am Love. I am Alive. I am Life. I exist. I am Existence. I am.
Lately, when I get stressed and caught up in taking something seriously, I stop and close my eyes and feel into “I am.” From the “I am” perspective, there is no problem. Anything that my mind is worried about, any old stories that I am terrifying myself with – they all immediately feel small and insignificant. I am. I always have been and always will be. There is no problem. I also notice when I stop and say “I am” that Wellbeing is evident. No matter what “problem” I am concerned about, when I say “I am,” I notice that in that moment I am absolutely okay. I am always, ultimately, safe. “I am” just smiles at me when I say there is a big hairy “problem” that I “need” to “solve.”
Also, practicing “I am” sure takes care of questions of worthiness, value, or approval. Yes, it can be tempting to judge ourselves – or fear judgment about what others will think about us or our choices. However, from a place of “I am,” there is no need for any justification of self or any of our choices. I am. Period. No value to earn. No judgments to be made. A flower is. A mountain is. I am. All is well, and there’s nothing to achieve in order to be worthy of Love in all its forms. “I am” is love. “I am” = Love. I am. Love.
I am. And so are You.
What if love and fun are what it’s all about? What if we’ve just gotten distracted? And what if our ”life purpose” is really just about finding our own favorite ways of expressing love and fun? What does love look like to you? What does fine look like to you? What is loving and fun to you? – what things, people, places, activities, and thoughts?
What if you get to be a channel for new and unique expressions of love and fun in this world? And what if you can do that just by following your curiosity? By asking yourself what love and fun are? By remembering to be curious about love and fun, and to invite it into your world. We each have our own, unique ideas and preferences about those two words. Love. Fun.
What I love about this perspective is that it really makes it clear about what’s important – at least for me. And it makes everything so much more simple and easy. Also, for me, it really strips away any “shoulds.”
I invite you to try on this perspective and see if it has any juju for you. At least in some areas of your life. It’s nice to keep a couple different perspectives and tools for viewing life – different kinds of glasses to see the world with. Then, when you forget who you are and how amazing you are, you can pull out your bag of perspectives and see if one of those tools helps. For me, this tool of orienting toward love and fun brings ease, movement, Simplicity and lightness.
What are some of your favorite ways that love and fun show up in this world? Please share with us so we can all expand our definitions and possibilities for love in fun! Happy posting!
What if you oriented your day to that question? What if you opened your eyes, greeted the day and spent a moment before you got out of bed asking yourself “what would feel good today? What would feel good for breakfast? What would feel good to wear today? Who would it feel good to spend time with today?”
What feels good? It’s a pretty radically life-changing question, at least for me. It has changed how I move through life, and even how I see life.
I invite you to try moving through your day oriented toward what would feel good. Be on the look out for what makes you smile, what feels lighter, what feels relaxing, uplifting, enriching or is a “feel-good” in any way. Wake up your feel-good meter! You have one! In the past, you may have been on autopilot – we all have. Maybe you’ve been just dealing with what is in front of you. It might not have occurred to you that you can switch on your “feel-good” detector. Or, that you even have a feel-good detector! But your body will tell you what feels good if you listen. And this is your own, totally personalized way of sensing what foods, places, clothes, conversations, people, colors, words, sounds and activities that light you up!
Whatever you hear your body saying “YES” to, go in that direction! And you can trust your feel-good meter, moment by moment. For example, my body often says “YES!” to chocolate! But after a certain amount, the “yes” factor goes away, telling me to move on to some other feel-good thing. Like maybe a walk, a phone call with a friend, watching a movie, or…….. Moment by moment, your own feel-good detector will guide you.
One of the beauties of orienting yourself toward what feels good is that you realize YOU CAN! You get to chose what is “north” on your compass. You get to chose what you orient to. And another beauty to remember here is this ancient truth: whatever we seek, we find.
What feels good to you? Please post here and share with us so we can add that to our list of possible feel-good choices!