I’m not hurrying to get things done before I die. I am relaxing into every moment of aliveness.
To gobble it up like a binge, cramming as much in as possible before it goes away, has meant living in a state of lack. Which means no matter how much I cram in, there’s always the sense of never enough. And that has inevitably translated into a sense that I myself am not enough.
Everyone I’ve ever talked to about this can relate to having had a feeling of “there’s not enough,” or “I’m not enough.” I think it’s part of the human experience and the illusion of separation. More and more science backs up the truth we can all feel on some level – that everything is connected and ultimately made of the same thing, and so ultimately everything is one life force expressing itself in many forms. But in our day-to-day human experience, we feel separate. And lacking. We feel that we have to get what we need from someone or something “out there.“ And we mistakenly identify with the idea of lack.
I’m waking up out of that virtual reality. That false identity. I’m the fish finally experiencing the unfathomably abundant water all around it. I’m the fish realizing it is a part of the vast ocean of unending, creative life force. There is enough. I am enough. I am the Enoughness, expressed. Everything is. You too.
Awake to this Infinite Fullness, I’m amazed to see how many of my actions were driven from this sense of lack. Now that I know there is enough, that I AM enough, I never have to cram food, rush to “get,” speed on the freeway, know the “right” answer, freak out over the exact wording, go against what feels right to me, pretend to be or feel something I’m not, try to manipulate myself or others, or attempt to control or convince anyone of anything, including myself.
Now that I know there is enough, I don’t have to do any of that anymore, because there is more than enough food, time, opportunity, safety, health, approval, money, love and belonging – right here where I am standing. Or swimming, floating, basking……… 😉 We are such cute little fishies! We are such a magnificent ocean.
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I’m not hurrying to get things done before I die. I am relaxing into every moment of aliveness.
To gobble it up like a binge, cramming as much in as possible before it goes away, has meant living in a state of lack. Which means no matter how much I cram in, there’s always the sense of never enough. And that has inevitably translated into a sense that I myself am not enough.
Everyone I’ve ever talked to about this can relate to having had a feeling of “there’s not enough,” or “I’m not enough.” I think it’s part of the human experience and the illusion of separation. More and more science backs up the truth we can all feel on some level – that everything is connected and ultimately made of the same thing, and so ultimately everything is one life force expressing itself in many forms. But in our day-to-day human experience, we feel separate. And lacking. We feel that we have to get what we need from someone or something “out there.“ And we mistakenly identify with the idea of lack.
I’m waking up out of that virtual reality. That false identity. I’m the fish finally experiencing the unfathomably abundant water all around it. I’m the fish realizing it is a part of the vast ocean of unending, creative life force. There is enough. I am enough. I am the Enoughness, expressed. Everything is. You too.
Awake to this Infinite Fullness, I’m amazed to see how many of my actions were driven from this sense of lack. Now that I know there is enough, that I AM enough, I never have to cram food, rush to “get,” speed on the freeway, know the “right” answer, freak out over the exact wording, go against what feels right to me, pretend to be or feel something I’m not, try to manipulate myself or others, or attempt to control or convince anyone of anything, including myself.
Now that I know there is enough, I don’t have to do any of that anymore, because there is more than enough food, time, opportunity, safety, health, approval, money, love and belonging – right here where I am standing. Or swimming, floating, basking……… 😉 We are such cute little fishies! We are such a magnificent ocean.
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I love the way that phrase feels. I love noticing how something feels and following that, rather than working hard to find “clever” words, actions, ways of doing. Relax into trust. Ahhhh the sensation of that in my body…
When I say the word relax, I feel myself let go a little bit. Almost like the word reminds me, “oh yeah. I was a little uptight, and I can actually sit back a bit. I can take a breath. I can soften the tension in my shoulders and back. I can shift into a more comfortable position. Oh yeah. I’ve come back to myself.” All that kinds of gently rolls through me when I hear the word relax, remind myself to relax.
This morning, the calmness of relaxing is in a soft energy around me. Peaceful. Nothing to do. Nothing that needs to get done. And I notice a curiosity about the feeling of relaxation. There is even a little voice, a little message that is floating around me that whispers, “Watch the relaxation, and see what it does.” It’s suggesting that I follow that feeling, be curious about it, and let the relaxed feeling flow how it wants to in my life. It’s telling me that there is a freedom, a potential that is opening up around this feeling of relaxation. Watch the relaxation and see what it does. Like being carried on a wise, wide river of wellbeing. Then watching IT find the powerful, easy paths in my life. My days. My precious, day-to-day, mundane, awe-invoking moments of aliveness. Relaxing into the trust of all that……..
https://christinabrittain.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/ChristinaBrittainLogo-300x61.png00chrisbhttps://christinabrittain.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/ChristinaBrittainLogo-300x61.pngchrisb2020-10-10 15:28:342021-12-17 20:51:29Relax Into Trust
Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself less. Rick Warren
Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself as part of the Infinite MORE. Christina Brittain
Okay, Life existed WAY before me, and will go on INFINITELY after my blip on the movie screen comes and goes. But the same Life that made the Universe is what actually ANIMATES my blip. When it comes down to it, it’s Life that is living us. Showing up as all these forms. Everything from galaxies to amoebas. It’s all powered by whatever it is that organizes all this. Whatever it is that knows how to give birth to universes, and beat hearts, and tell a bunch of cells how to turn into a human. Or turn into who knows what amazing form on some other planet in some other solar system.
I’m a blip in that always more, never ending, unstoppable river of forms coming into being and passing out of being. In that sense, my story, my troubles, my concerns, my preferences and my ideas about who I am are hard to take seriously. This little human called Christina has this box of thoughts that she takes seriously and thinks is real.
The more I look from this angle, the less I obsess about my personal story. I give my attention far less to details I thought were important, and far more to that Intelligent Energy that is living me. I think less about myself. And I am free to think about and feel the MORE of what I am.
Ironically, when I step out of my limited ideas of me and into curiosity about my true identity as Life Force Itself, that’s when I feel such natural awe and reverence for this unique me. Even this limited me. I feel love and respect for all of her unique story, preferences, opinions, “flaws,” and precious humanness. The more I think of the MORE of me, the sweeter and lighter are my thoughts about this wonder that is a Christina.
I am humbled to be aware that I am only an expression of the never-ending Creation, which is the real life. Yet also humbled and aware that I am also a miraculous, one-of-a-kind expression. I am simultaneously in awe of the Life that animates me, AND the specialness of the form that I am privileged to be.
Personal story can be whatever it is, and yet it’s suddenly opened up and connected to the Big, Eternal Story. I am so tiny. And I am so sacred. I am completely unique. And I am never, ever separate or alone.
I’m with you, my friends. We’re all in this together. We are the unique ALL’s, together.
https://christinabrittain.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/ChristinaBrittainLogo-300x61.png00chrisbhttps://christinabrittain.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/ChristinaBrittainLogo-300x61.pngchrisb2020-09-30 02:40:322021-12-17 20:51:11I think of myself less when I think of myself as MORE
My Very Alive Beach Walk 🙂 Exquisiite Sand Drawings, Dolphins, Seals, Beautiful Heart-Connections and Stepping Out of the Lie of My Thinking. A few mornings ago, I was really caught up in some untrue thinking. And it hurt. A lot. My mind was showing me lots of details and “evidence” about how I am on the “outside.” It was telling me all about how “other people” have it figured out and are included in life and get to enjoy it. That somehow they are worthy of it, but not me. You know. Those magical, blessed “other people.” We all have thoughts along these lines. The thoughts themselves are not a problem. Thoughts come and go. That’s what the brain does. The suffering came from me believing the thoughts.
Luckily, some part of me was still aware as the witnesser of the thoughts. There was just enough space between me and the thoughts that I could remember that if it hurts, it’s bogus thinking.
So rather than continue engaging with the false thoughts and evidence, trying to make myself feel better within the faulty reality of “the problem,” I turned my curiosity and attention to the “witness me.” And to the moment. The now. I gave my attention to this aliveness that I am not only part of, but that I AM.
I headed for the beach. I breathed. I talked to myself in the car and admired and appreciated so many things. By the time I got to the beach, I was already feeling the freedom of stepping out of the stories of separation. A magical morning proceeded to unfold!
I walked on the beach, continuing to enjoy people, birds, waves… I walked with a smile on my face that radiating from the inside. When I passed people they smiled too. I noticed one woman in particular who had such an openness about her. We genuinely saw each other and I felt my heart expand in the few seconds and smiles as we passed each other.
Towards the end of my walk, I came across some amazing LIFE magic! Exquisite sand drawings! Lotus, koi, palm trees, flowers, in mandalas that were so beautifully made! The drawings included these phrases in the design or placed nearby: You matter. You are amazing. Be a kind human. And, yes, “Breathe. You are alive.”
Messages just for me. Yes, I AM alive. Right now! No waiting to figure out how to get “in” to life. And yes, I am learning to be a kind human – to myself too!
I went back to my car to get my phone to take pictures, and when I returned, the smiling woman I’d seen earlier was there. And we had an amazing, heart-connected, conversation about our appreciation of life, including each other! It brought us both to tears, we were so moved by the gift of the drawings, the gift of the blessings of life, and the gift of our encounter.
When I retrieved my phone, there was a text from a dear person wanting some support. It worked out perfectly for her to come do a session with me on the beach! While I was waiting for her to arrive, I did some qigong. Smiling and looking out at the ocean, basking in the amazing feeling of BEING ALIVE, I saw the magic of dolphins playing in the surf. When the woman arrived, during our session we saw a seal, too! Then, when I arrived home, heart full and feeling so nourished by life, a neighbor had left another colored-in coloring page for me to find. This one saying “We All Belong.”
Yes, me too. You too. We all belong. We are all part of life, and that never changes – even if we THINK it does and have a moment of believing that thought. Breathe. You are alive. Right now. No “worthiness” to achieve. No figuring out needed.
You matter. You are amazing. Be a kind human – to yourself as much as to others. Breathe. You are alive!
This one has such a sweet melody! It is set to the tune of a sanskrit devotional song – a mantra set to music so folks can sing it together. I sing the words I superimposed onto the song for my own uses and delight. Then I tell you what the original sanskrit words are and what they mean. I had no idea what “hare,” “rama” and “krishna” meant and I sure loved the translations I found for them! You’ll love it! Thank you for watching! If it delights you, please subscribe to my channel so you get the heads up when I post more little love note videos for you! Christina Brittain: Coaching, classes, and coloring Books to help you trust your body, yourself and Life! https://christinabrittain.com/ Chris@ChristinaBrittain.com 619-838-5378
https://christinabrittain.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/ChristinaBrittainLogo-300x61.png00chrisbhttps://christinabrittain.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/ChristinaBrittainLogo-300x61.pngchrisb2020-08-27 20:40:232021-12-17 20:51:34Reminder Song: Life is Easy!
I give up. I give up trying to figure out the rules. I give up trying to figure out what is “true.” Which philosophy, which spiritual approach, which technique is “best?” Which one will tell me THE way things work and what are the clear rules to follow that are “right?” I give up. I’m sick (literally) of having an inner state of frantic reaching for something “out there” that is going to make me safe. I give up trying to know, trying to be right, trying to be “spiritual,” be “enlightened,” and even trying to be loved.
I know that Life IS. I know that Life is unstoppable. Life exists, and has an intelligence about it and it is LIFE that has given rise to all of it. ALL of it. All the expressions, all the possibilities. Human life is one blip in infinity, no matter how long we are present as a species. Life has been, life will be, always, eternally. Rolling on and on and on. As galaxies, universes, INFINITE life forms, infinite ideas expressing. Creation is bottomless, endless, the ceaseless fountain of expression.
I can’t know from my tiny blip of Christina what “the one right Truth” is. There is none. Every moment gives rise to a new way of doing things that is appropriate for each new creation arising. The “right” way of doing things depends on each life form, each moment of that life form, the needs and desires of that life form. Creation can’t be stopped in its curious expansion, evolution, and CHANGE.
I can’t know what The One Truth is, or even what Existence is and how it works. I can’t know what my “purpose” is, or what I “should” be doing.
What I CAN do is FEEL the Living Flood of Life that I am. What I can do is feel the Living Flood of Life that I am. I can feel that aliveness in me, as me. I can open myself to it and feel what is calling through me. I give up reaching outside of myself for an intellectual answer, and I return to the home of Life inside me. I feel my beingness. I feel the alive, aware Life that animates all things. It has taken care of its Expression and Existence always. It can certainly live me perfectly too. I can rest in that. I can allow myself to give up the trying and BE. In that, I can feel in my body that I am intrinsically rooted, connected to All Life. I am more than fed by it. From most angles, and from a gut-sensing standpoint, I am indistinguishable from the Infinite Ocean Itself.
Except I am also the miraculously unique form that Life has birthed along with all its infinite other unique creations. Life has given rise to this totally inimitable, incomparable “me.” I trust the Life that manages all things to “manage” me too. I trust the Life that moves through me to call itself to the next action, next idea, next word……
And I can FEEL that call. As a relaxing, an opening, an ease in every moment. Even moments when I feel like having an angry tirade! There is an ease in letting it be what it is without trying to fight it and make myself be something else.
So I give up. I surrender to the changing “rightness” of each moment. I let myself be and give up the idea that I need to improve or fix myself to be somehow better than Life has given rise to me.
More and more of the classes I offer are centered in this trust in the aliveness. This trust in our ability to FEEL that life and align with it, allowing ourselves ease. Allowing ourselves to celebrate ourselves just as we are and free ourselves to relax and expand in natural directions. We can feel our uniqueness and stop fighting it, letting the genius that we each are flow unhindered by our interference in trying to be good or right.
The practices, thoughts, philosophies, and techniques I share in sessions and classes all serve that center of FEELING, trusting and aligning with that naturalness of what we are. I hope you’ll join in for this next class I have scheduled on exploring the living truth that you are, and letting go of figuring out what “THE” truth is and what the rules of that truth are. It is my ongoing joy to spend time with you in this freeing, smile-inducing conversation about celebrating exactly what we are, in every changing moment!
https://christinabrittain.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/ChristinaBrittainLogo-300x61.png00chrisbhttps://christinabrittain.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/ChristinaBrittainLogo-300x61.pngchrisb2020-08-20 02:18:002021-12-17 20:51:09I GIVE UP! What a Relief!
Last week a dear friend facilitated a shamanic journey for me. She’s such a skilled and intuitive practitioner. The ritual of the journey was simple, powerful and grounded. The intention of the journey was to invite all the knowing and Divine connection I experience on a regular basis to really filter into my physical experience. To explore and soften the illusion of separation from that inner, Bigger Knowing. It was an amazing experience! I won’t bother telling you the visions and feelings. But here is a big part of what came through:
There is a part of me that is terrified to admit that I know my
own answers. It doesn’t want me to admit my own authority or inner guidance. To
that part of me, listening to or admitting that inner wisdom feels literally
life-threatening. There’s been so much conditioning to squelch myself and trust
only what the outside “authority“ says. What are the rules of the pack so I can
fit in and be accepted? What are my mom’s rules so I can avoid her anger, her
painful criticism and terrifying rejection of me? All of that conditioning and
rule following is built on the idea that I am not acceptable. That I am not
good and my nature cannot be trusted. All of that seeking authority and safety
from outside tells me that I am not worthy of love. It might have kept my body
safe from harm as a child. But safety does not equal the nourishment of love.
(Give a girl some conditional praise and she feels safe for the
moment. Teach her to trust and celebrate herself and life, and she lives
securely in love always.)
I share this because sharing helps me ground the wisdom that is
coming through me, the wisdom that lives AS me. I also share it because I’ve
noticed this in others too. You? Maybe part of you also fears going within for
your own wisdom, answers and authority. That universal fear that if we stop
connecting to the authority of the tribe, the consensus, the rules that we’ll
be cast out. Alone. From the survival/animal brain perspective, that makes
perfect sense. I’m not saying we don’t need our kindred animals. Here I am
soothing my own animal, letting it know that life is not the dire “either/or“
survival paradigm of its ancient brain. Light has evolved. Life has evolved.
The body is so relatively safe in this time of the world. And now we are
opening to the Source of Life Itself. Communing with that Divine Intelligence
that gives rise to it ALL. And we can FEEL it inside us. It shows up as our
own, unique guidance and authority. Each life form knowing exactly what it
needs to thrive, evolve, and grow out of the fear. Knows what it needs to open
and include so much more light, love, refinement of expression. Oh wow. The
perfect exquisite expression of the infinite variety of life! The infinite
uniqueness of the forms of Love!
That’s me and you. Unique, perfect forms of the intelligence of
life. We ARE Love in distinct celebrations and expressions of its forms. That’s
us! And as unique as we are, we are still in this together! We’re still not
alone. We’re still ALL ONE. Ironically, I am more aware of that ONE LIGHT when
I look inside and honor the prism of unique me. I can let myself know this. I
can let myself FEEL this inner connection to Everything, and access that innate
Intelligence. I won’t be kicked out for following that. Even if it looks different
than you following it. Or my Mom. Or
whoever. This is a celebration of how
that Light shines through me in a way it can only through me! As it can only through each of us. This
awareness of my own authority, animated by a Larger Knowing, lets me see and be
in awe of both me and the Life that gives rise to me! Going inside, admitting this
inner connection, I am not alone. We are still ALL ONE.
https://christinabrittain.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/ChristinaBrittainLogo-300x61.png00chrisbhttps://christinabrittain.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/ChristinaBrittainLogo-300x61.pngchrisb2020-07-22 15:46:112021-12-17 20:51:22My Recent Shamanic Journey and More Thoughts on Avoiding Myself
Hi everyone. I had a couple thoughts today I’d like to share. About avoiding myself. You know me, and of course I do sit down often and go inside. Yet there are also LOTS of times when I avoid it like crazy. I’ll be feeling some uncomfortable feeling and know that if I sat down and went inside, it would benefit me. In any number of ways. And yet I avoid. Basically I do the equivalent of running around with my fingers in my ears, saying “LA LA LA LA LA – I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” I keep myself busy and keep my discomfort from having a chance to rise up and tell me whatever it is that it needs to share.
I know why. Actually, there are lots of reasons. And they’re not new thoughts. But here are two that showed up in a new way for me today. First: Today after I finally sat down and sidled up to myself, consciously curious about why I resist going inside sometimes, a little voice said “Because. You aren’t coming in here to be with me. You’re coming in here to make me feel different, be different. To change me, fix me and whip me into shape. You’re super serious and painful.” It’s true. I’m getting better at sitting inside myself just to feel the joy of it. To be with myself in the awareness of LIFE! To sit down with whatever is in there and celebrate together. Notice the sunset together. To sit side by side, not trying to change whatever is there, but to be with it as I am also in awe of being alive. I’d run too if I knew my life partner was in that mood again and was going to sit me down, give me a lecture, and try to make me change instead of listen to me and be with me.
Second: There is a HUGE part of me that is totally scared of going inside because it thinks all the “okayness” is out there and needs focus entirely on how to get it. Going inside feels like certain disconnection from safety. It feels like it will literally be certain death. I know all the “why’s,” but it still terrifies that part of me.
And that part of me is a perfect example of a part that needs love, not a scolding. It needs me to just show up and be with it in love. To sit with it, listen to anything it wants to say, and NOT TRY TO CHANGE IT, which will only freak it out more. This part of me that’s afraid of listening to the inner authority because it might mean I’ll die from not following “the rules” out there.
Like I said, these aren’t new thoughts. Just more deeply felt today. And from new “aha’s” that landed differently in the body. I just wanted to name this and share it. It’s helping me get even more solid ground about truly allowing every part of me. It’s all good. It’s all God. It’s all some form of love trying to love me. In the end, that’s what all the parts are, after all. Even if some of those parts are working with really confused ideas.
Thank you for reading this. And if you are, I hope you find more kindness and celebration for yourself too. That you can sit with total acceptance of whatever is showing up, rather than try to make any part of you be different. It’s all good. It’s all God. It’s all some form of love trying to love you.
Here are some ideas and resources for those of you who were
interested in the class I did recently called How to Allow When Things Are
Intense. Several folks who couldn’t come
asked me for some helpful suggestions.
The following might help you be with uncomfortable emotions in a way
that feels more allowing, accepting, and peaceful. Try to let any discomfort or anxiety roll
through you without fighting it or thinking you shouldn’t be feeling it. Anxiety is fine, unless we feel anxious about
it. 😉 I know it sounds funny, but it’s true.
Just letting it all come through without thinking it needs to be
different or shouldn’t be happening –
that in itself helps to calm the nervous system down. Much better for our state
of mind and state of body/health.
There are SO MANY things that help, and these are just a few off
the top of my head. So, try these and
see if any resonate with you and help you to relax:
First, the quickies:
GET OUTSIDE!
Connecting with nature is scientifically proven to relax you, calm the
nervous system, help you sleep better, and strengthen your immune system!
BREATHE! Sit
down and breath on purpose! Breathing fully
is also scientifically proven to benefit the body and all its processes,
including calming the nervous system down.
LOOK UP! Physically
looking up changes your posture and literally changes your perspective to a
bigger one. Helps us step out of our closed loop thinking, get out of our heads
and the drama of our stories, and literally opens up new neural networks to
help us realize that the reality between our ears might be just a little made
up (or, a LOT made up!)
LAUGH! Watch
funny movies, stand up, youtube videos that help you laugh out loud!
LIGHTEN UP! Are
you taking things too seriously, by any chance?
Laughter helps, getting outside helps, doing things that you like and
feel fun helps. Do whatever helps you
not to get hooked into the drama and to live a much lighter, freer experience!
BOOKS: There are SO many helpful books! Go with what feels good to you, and know that reading is a great way to keep yourself exposed to/gounded in/fed by the truth of wellbeing! Michael Singer wrote the Untethered Soul, which I also recommend. I think reading The Surrender Experiment first is a good way to go!
The Little Book of Big Change, Dr. Amy Johnson. Try this book. It speaks toward addictions and habits, but truly addresses habitual, repetitive thinking:
Byron Katie’s “The Work” – helps us to question the thoughts
that are taking us for a ride. Helps us
to see that ultimately no thought is true, so we can save ourselves a lot of
trauma by not believing them. This process helps you actually get it that the
thoughts aren’t true: Free worksheets, instructions, videos
There are SO many ways to help ourselves remember the truth, even in
the face of big stress, fear and anxiety. I’d love to hear some of your favorites! Please post!
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Now That I Know There's Enough
I’m not hurrying to get things done before I die. I am relaxing into every moment of aliveness.
To gobble it up like a binge, cramming as much in as possible before it goes away, has meant living in a state of lack. Which means no matter how much I cram in, there’s always the sense of never enough. And that has inevitably translated into a sense that I myself am not enough.
Everyone I’ve ever talked to about this can relate to having had a feeling of “there’s not enough,” or “I’m not enough.” I think it’s part of the human experience and the illusion of separation. More and more science backs up the truth we can all feel on some level – that everything is connected and ultimately made of the same thing, and so ultimately everything is one life force expressing itself in many forms. But in our day-to-day human experience, we feel separate. And lacking. We feel that we have to get what we need from someone or something “out there.“ And we mistakenly identify with the idea of lack.
I’m waking up out of that virtual reality. That false identity. I’m the fish finally experiencing the unfathomably abundant water all around it. I’m the fish realizing it is a part of the vast ocean of unending, creative life force. There is enough. I am enough. I am the Enoughness, expressed. Everything is. You too.
Awake to this Infinite Fullness, I’m amazed to see how many of my actions were driven from this sense of lack. Now that I know there is enough, that I AM enough, I never have to cram food, rush to “get,” speed on the freeway, know the “right” answer, freak out over the exact wording, go against what feels right to me, pretend to be or feel something I’m not, try to manipulate myself or others, or attempt to control or convince anyone of anything, including myself.
Now that I know there is enough, I don’t have to do any of that anymore, because there is more than enough food, time, opportunity, safety, health, approval, money, love and belonging – right here where I am standing. Or swimming, floating, basking……… 😉 We are such cute little fishies! We are such a magnificent ocean.
Now That I Know There’s Enough
I’m not hurrying to get things done before I die. I am relaxing into every moment of aliveness.
To gobble it up like a binge, cramming as much in as possible before it goes away, has meant living in a state of lack. Which means no matter how much I cram in, there’s always the sense of never enough. And that has inevitably translated into a sense that I myself am not enough.
Everyone I’ve ever talked to about this can relate to having had a feeling of “there’s not enough,” or “I’m not enough.” I think it’s part of the human experience and the illusion of separation. More and more science backs up the truth we can all feel on some level – that everything is connected and ultimately made of the same thing, and so ultimately everything is one life force expressing itself in many forms. But in our day-to-day human experience, we feel separate. And lacking. We feel that we have to get what we need from someone or something “out there.“ And we mistakenly identify with the idea of lack.
I’m waking up out of that virtual reality. That false identity. I’m the fish finally experiencing the unfathomably abundant water all around it. I’m the fish realizing it is a part of the vast ocean of unending, creative life force. There is enough. I am enough. I am the Enoughness, expressed. Everything is. You too.
Awake to this Infinite Fullness, I’m amazed to see how many of my actions were driven from this sense of lack. Now that I know there is enough, that I AM enough, I never have to cram food, rush to “get,” speed on the freeway, know the “right” answer, freak out over the exact wording, go against what feels right to me, pretend to be or feel something I’m not, try to manipulate myself or others, or attempt to control or convince anyone of anything, including myself.
Now that I know there is enough, I don’t have to do any of that anymore, because there is more than enough food, time, opportunity, safety, health, approval, money, love and belonging – right here where I am standing. Or swimming, floating, basking……… 😉 We are such cute little fishies! We are such a magnificent ocean.
Relax Into Trust
I love the way that phrase feels. I love noticing how something feels and following that, rather than working hard to find “clever” words, actions, ways of doing. Relax into trust. Ahhhh the sensation of that in my body…
When I say the word relax, I feel myself let go a little bit. Almost like the word reminds me, “oh yeah. I was a little uptight, and I can actually sit back a bit. I can take a breath. I can soften the tension in my shoulders and back. I can shift into a more comfortable position. Oh yeah. I’ve come back to myself.” All that kinds of gently rolls through me when I hear the word relax, remind myself to relax.
This morning, the calmness of relaxing is in a soft energy around me. Peaceful. Nothing to do. Nothing that needs to get done. And I notice a curiosity about the feeling of relaxation. There is even a little voice, a little message that is floating around me that whispers, “Watch the relaxation, and see what it does.” It’s suggesting that I follow that feeling, be curious about it, and let the relaxed feeling flow how it wants to in my life. It’s telling me that there is a freedom, a potential that is opening up around this feeling of relaxation. Watch the relaxation and see what it does. Like being carried on a wise, wide river of wellbeing. Then watching IT find the powerful, easy paths in my life. My days. My precious, day-to-day, mundane, awe-invoking moments of aliveness. Relaxing into the trust of all that……..
I think of myself less when I think of myself as MORE
Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself less. Rick Warren
Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself as part of the Infinite MORE. Christina Brittain
Okay, Life existed WAY before me, and will go on INFINITELY after my blip on the movie screen comes and goes. But the same Life that made the Universe is what actually ANIMATES my blip. When it comes down to it, it’s Life that is living us. Showing up as all these forms. Everything from galaxies to amoebas. It’s all powered by whatever it is that organizes all this. Whatever it is that knows how to give birth to universes, and beat hearts, and tell a bunch of cells how to turn into a human. Or turn into who knows what amazing form on some other planet in some other solar system.
I’m a blip in that always more, never ending, unstoppable river of forms coming into being and passing out of being. In that sense, my story, my troubles, my concerns, my preferences and my ideas about who I am are hard to take seriously. This little human called Christina has this box of thoughts that she takes seriously and thinks is real.
The more I look from this angle, the less I obsess about my personal story. I give my attention far less to details I thought were important, and far more to that Intelligent Energy that is living me. I think less about myself. And I am free to think about and feel the MORE of what I am.
Ironically, when I step out of my limited ideas of me and into curiosity about my true identity as Life Force Itself, that’s when I feel such natural awe and reverence for this unique me. Even this limited me. I feel love and respect for all of her unique story, preferences, opinions, “flaws,” and precious humanness. The more I think of the MORE of me, the sweeter and lighter are my thoughts about this wonder that is a Christina.
I am humbled to be aware that I am only an expression of the never-ending Creation, which is the real life. Yet also humbled and aware that I am also a miraculous, one-of-a-kind expression. I am simultaneously in awe of the Life that animates me, AND the specialness of the form that I am privileged to be.
Personal story can be whatever it is, and yet it’s suddenly opened up and connected to the Big, Eternal Story. I am so tiny. And I am so sacred. I am completely unique. And I am never, ever separate or alone.
I’m with you, my friends. We’re all in this together. We are the unique ALL’s, together.
My Extraordinary, ALIVE Beach Walk!
My Very Alive Beach Walk 🙂
Exquisiite Sand Drawings, Dolphins, Seals, Beautiful Heart-Connections
and Stepping Out of the Lie of My Thinking.
A few mornings ago, I was really caught up in some untrue thinking. And it hurt. A lot. My mind was showing me lots of details and “evidence” about how I am on the “outside.” It was telling me all about how “other people” have it figured out and are included in life and get to enjoy it. That somehow they are worthy of it, but not me. You know. Those magical, blessed “other people.” We all have thoughts along these lines. The thoughts themselves are not a problem. Thoughts come and go. That’s what the brain does. The suffering came from me believing the thoughts.
Luckily, some part of me was still aware as the witnesser of the thoughts. There was just enough space between me and the thoughts that I could remember that if it hurts, it’s bogus thinking.
So rather than continue engaging with the false thoughts and evidence, trying to make myself feel better within the faulty reality of “the problem,” I turned my curiosity and attention to the “witness me.” And to the moment. The now. I gave my attention to this aliveness that I am not only part of, but that I AM.
I headed for the beach. I breathed. I talked to myself in the car and admired and appreciated so many things. By the time I got to the beach, I was already feeling the freedom of stepping out of the stories of separation. A magical morning proceeded to unfold!
I walked on the beach, continuing to enjoy people, birds, waves… I walked with a smile on my face that radiating from the inside. When I passed people they smiled too. I noticed one woman in particular who had such an openness about her. We genuinely saw each other and I felt my heart expand in the few seconds and smiles as we passed each other.
Towards the end of my walk, I came across some amazing LIFE magic! Exquisite sand drawings! Lotus, koi, palm trees, flowers, in mandalas that were so beautifully made! The drawings included these phrases in the design or placed nearby:
You matter.
You are amazing.
Be a kind human.
And, yes, “Breathe. You are alive.”
Messages just for me. Yes, I AM alive. Right now! No waiting to figure out how to get “in” to life. And yes, I am learning to be a kind human – to myself too!
I went back to my car to get my phone to take pictures, and when I returned, the smiling woman I’d seen earlier was there. And we had an amazing, heart-connected, conversation about our appreciation of life, including each other! It brought us both to tears, we were so moved by the gift of the drawings, the gift of the blessings of life, and the gift of our encounter.
When I retrieved my phone, there was a text from a dear person wanting some support. It worked out perfectly for her to come do a session with me on the beach! While I was waiting for her to arrive, I did some qigong. Smiling and looking out at the ocean, basking in the amazing feeling of BEING ALIVE, I saw the magic of dolphins playing in the surf. When the woman arrived, during our session we saw a seal, too! Then, when I arrived home, heart full and feeling so nourished by life, a neighbor had left another colored-in coloring page for me to find. This one saying “We All Belong.”
Yes, me too. You too. We all belong. We are all part of life, and that never changes – even if we THINK it does and have a moment of believing that thought. Breathe. You are alive. Right now. No “worthiness” to achieve. No figuring out needed.
You matter.
You are amazing.
Be a kind human – to yourself as much as to others.
Breathe. You are alive!
Reminder Song: Life is Easy!
This one has such a sweet melody! It is set to the tune of a sanskrit devotional song – a mantra set to music so folks can sing it together. I sing the words I superimposed onto the song for my own uses and delight. Then I tell you what the original sanskrit words are and what they mean. I had no idea what “hare,” “rama” and “krishna” meant and I sure loved the translations I found for them! You’ll love it! Thank you for watching! If it delights you, please subscribe to my channel so you get the heads up when I post more little love note videos for you! Christina Brittain: Coaching, classes, and coloring Books to help you trust your body, yourself and Life! https://christinabrittain.com/ Chris@ChristinaBrittain.com 619-838-5378
I GIVE UP! What a Relief!
I give up. I give up trying to figure out the rules. I give up trying to figure out what is “true.” Which philosophy, which spiritual approach, which technique is “best?” Which one will tell me THE way things work and what are the clear rules to follow that are “right?” I give up. I’m sick (literally) of having an inner state of frantic reaching for something “out there” that is going to make me safe. I give up trying to know, trying to be right, trying to be “spiritual,” be “enlightened,” and even trying to be loved.
I know that Life IS. I know that Life is unstoppable. Life exists, and has an intelligence about it and it is LIFE that has given rise to all of it. ALL of it. All the expressions, all the possibilities. Human life is one blip in infinity, no matter how long we are present as a species. Life has been, life will be, always, eternally. Rolling on and on and on. As galaxies, universes, INFINITE life forms, infinite ideas expressing. Creation is bottomless, endless, the ceaseless fountain of expression.
I can’t know from my tiny blip of Christina what “the one right Truth” is. There is none. Every moment gives rise to a new way of doing things that is appropriate for each new creation arising. The “right” way of doing things depends on each life form, each moment of that life form, the needs and desires of that life form. Creation can’t be stopped in its curious expansion, evolution, and CHANGE.
I can’t know what The One Truth is, or even what Existence is and how it works. I can’t know what my “purpose” is, or what I “should” be doing.
What I CAN do is FEEL the Living Flood of Life that I am.
What I can do is feel the Living Flood of Life that I am. I can feel that aliveness in me, as me. I can open myself to it and feel what is calling through me. I give up reaching outside of myself for an intellectual answer, and I return to the home of Life inside me. I feel my beingness. I feel the alive, aware Life that animates all things. It has taken care of its Expression and Existence always. It can certainly live me perfectly too. I can rest in that. I can allow myself to give up the trying and BE. In that, I can feel in my body that I am intrinsically rooted, connected to All Life. I am more than fed by it. From most angles, and from a gut-sensing standpoint, I am indistinguishable from the Infinite Ocean Itself.
Except I am also the miraculously unique form that Life has birthed along with all its infinite other unique creations. Life has given rise to this totally inimitable, incomparable “me.” I trust the Life that manages all things to “manage” me too. I trust the Life that moves through me to call itself to the next action, next idea, next word……
And I can FEEL that call. As a relaxing, an opening, an ease in every moment. Even moments when I feel like having an angry tirade! There is an ease in letting it be what it is without trying to fight it and make myself be something else.
So I give up. I surrender to the changing “rightness” of each moment. I let myself be and give up the idea that I need to improve or fix myself to be somehow better than Life has given rise to me.
More and more of the classes I offer are centered in this trust in the aliveness. This trust in our ability to FEEL that life and align with it, allowing ourselves ease. Allowing ourselves to celebrate ourselves just as we are and free ourselves to relax and expand in natural directions. We can feel our uniqueness and stop fighting it, letting the genius that we each are flow unhindered by our interference in trying to be good or right.
The practices, thoughts, philosophies, and techniques I share in sessions and classes all serve that center of FEELING, trusting and aligning with that naturalness of what we are. I hope you’ll join in for this next class I have scheduled on exploring the living truth that you are, and letting go of figuring out what “THE” truth is and what the rules of that truth are. It is my ongoing joy to spend time with you in this freeing, smile-inducing conversation about celebrating exactly what we are, in every changing moment!
My Recent Shamanic Journey and More Thoughts on Avoiding Myself
Last week a dear friend facilitated a shamanic journey for me. She’s such a skilled and intuitive practitioner. The ritual of the journey was simple, powerful and grounded. The intention of the journey was to invite all the knowing and Divine connection I experience on a regular basis to really filter into my physical experience. To explore and soften the illusion of separation from that inner, Bigger Knowing. It was an amazing experience! I won’t bother telling you the visions and feelings. But here is a big part of what came through:
There is a part of me that is terrified to admit that I know my own answers. It doesn’t want me to admit my own authority or inner guidance. To that part of me, listening to or admitting that inner wisdom feels literally life-threatening. There’s been so much conditioning to squelch myself and trust only what the outside “authority“ says. What are the rules of the pack so I can fit in and be accepted? What are my mom’s rules so I can avoid her anger, her painful criticism and terrifying rejection of me? All of that conditioning and rule following is built on the idea that I am not acceptable. That I am not good and my nature cannot be trusted. All of that seeking authority and safety from outside tells me that I am not worthy of love. It might have kept my body safe from harm as a child. But safety does not equal the nourishment of love.
(Give a girl some conditional praise and she feels safe for the moment. Teach her to trust and celebrate herself and life, and she lives securely in love always.)
I share this because sharing helps me ground the wisdom that is coming through me, the wisdom that lives AS me. I also share it because I’ve noticed this in others too. You? Maybe part of you also fears going within for your own wisdom, answers and authority. That universal fear that if we stop connecting to the authority of the tribe, the consensus, the rules that we’ll be cast out. Alone. From the survival/animal brain perspective, that makes perfect sense. I’m not saying we don’t need our kindred animals. Here I am soothing my own animal, letting it know that life is not the dire “either/or“ survival paradigm of its ancient brain. Light has evolved. Life has evolved. The body is so relatively safe in this time of the world. And now we are opening to the Source of Life Itself. Communing with that Divine Intelligence that gives rise to it ALL. And we can FEEL it inside us. It shows up as our own, unique guidance and authority. Each life form knowing exactly what it needs to thrive, evolve, and grow out of the fear. Knows what it needs to open and include so much more light, love, refinement of expression. Oh wow. The perfect exquisite expression of the infinite variety of life! The infinite uniqueness of the forms of Love!
That’s me and you. Unique, perfect forms of the intelligence of life. We ARE Love in distinct celebrations and expressions of its forms. That’s us! And as unique as we are, we are still in this together! We’re still not alone. We’re still ALL ONE. Ironically, I am more aware of that ONE LIGHT when I look inside and honor the prism of unique me. I can let myself know this. I can let myself FEEL this inner connection to Everything, and access that innate Intelligence. I won’t be kicked out for following that. Even if it looks different than you following it. Or my Mom. Or whoever. This is a celebration of how that Light shines through me in a way it can only through me! As it can only through each of us. This awareness of my own authority, animated by a Larger Knowing, lets me see and be in awe of both me and the Life that gives rise to me! Going inside, admitting this inner connection, I am not alone. We are still ALL ONE.
Loving you, and me, and we,
Christina
No wonder I avoid myself…
I know why. Actually, there are lots of reasons. And they’re not new thoughts. But here are two that showed up in a new way for me today.
First: Today after I finally sat down and sidled up to myself, consciously curious about why I resist going inside sometimes, a little voice said “Because. You aren’t coming in here to be with me. You’re coming in here to make me feel different, be different. To change me, fix me and whip me into shape. You’re super serious and painful.” It’s true. I’m getting better at sitting inside myself just to feel the joy of it. To be with myself in the awareness of LIFE! To sit down with whatever is in there and celebrate together. Notice the sunset together. To sit side by side, not trying to change whatever is there, but to be with it as I am also in awe of being alive. I’d run too if I knew my life partner was in that mood again and was going to sit me down, give me a lecture, and try to make me change instead of listen to me and be with me.
Second: There is a HUGE part of me that is totally scared of going inside because it thinks all the “okayness” is out there and needs focus entirely on how to get it. Going inside feels like certain disconnection from safety. It feels like it will literally be certain death. I know all the “why’s,” but it still terrifies that part of me.
And that part of me is a perfect example of a part that needs love, not a scolding. It needs me to just show up and be with it in love. To sit with it, listen to anything it wants to say, and NOT TRY TO CHANGE IT, which will only freak it out more. This part of me that’s afraid of listening to the inner authority because it might mean I’ll die from not following “the rules” out there.
Like I said, these aren’t new thoughts. Just more deeply felt today. And from new “aha’s” that landed differently in the body. I just wanted to name this and share it. It’s helping me get even more solid ground about truly allowing every part of me. It’s all good. It’s all God. It’s all some form of love trying to love me. In the end, that’s what all the parts are, after all. Even if some of those parts are working with really confused ideas.
Thank you for reading this. And if you are, I hope you find more kindness and celebration for yourself too. That you can sit with total acceptance of whatever is showing up, rather than try to make any part of you be different. It’s all good. It’s all God. It’s all some form of love trying to love you.
And everybody, I love you too,
C
Resources for How To Allow When Things Are Intense
How To Allow When Things Are Intense:
Resources
Here are some ideas and resources for those of you who were interested in the class I did recently called How to Allow When Things Are Intense. Several folks who couldn’t come asked me for some helpful suggestions. The following might help you be with uncomfortable emotions in a way that feels more allowing, accepting, and peaceful. Try to let any discomfort or anxiety roll through you without fighting it or thinking you shouldn’t be feeling it. Anxiety is fine, unless we feel anxious about it. 😉 I know it sounds funny, but it’s true. Just letting it all come through without thinking it needs to be different or shouldn’t be happening – that in itself helps to calm the nervous system down. Much better for our state of mind and state of body/health.
There are SO MANY things that help, and these are just a few off the top of my head. So, try these and see if any resonate with you and help you to relax:
First, the quickies:
GET OUTSIDE! Connecting with nature is scientifically proven to relax you, calm the nervous system, help you sleep better, and strengthen your immune system!
BREATHE! Sit down and breath on purpose! Breathing fully is also scientifically proven to benefit the body and all its processes, including calming the nervous system down.
LOOK UP! Physically looking up changes your posture and literally changes your perspective to a bigger one. Helps us step out of our closed loop thinking, get out of our heads and the drama of our stories, and literally opens up new neural networks to help us realize that the reality between our ears might be just a little made up (or, a LOT made up!)
LAUGH! Watch funny movies, stand up, youtube videos that help you laugh out loud!
LIGHTEN UP! Are you taking things too seriously, by any chance? Laughter helps, getting outside helps, doing things that you like and feel fun helps. Do whatever helps you not to get hooked into the drama and to live a much lighter, freer experience!
Dr. Amy Johnson’s blog:
How to ride out unpleasant emotions: https://youtu.be/W3ikxvyg6ls
Sarah Blondin’s guided meditations: https://insig.ht/RSgZlABUF7
BOOKS: There are SO many helpful books! Go with what feels good to you, and know that reading is a great way to keep yourself exposed to/gounded in/fed by the truth of wellbeing! Michael Singer wrote the Untethered Soul, which I also recommend. I think reading The Surrender Experiment first is a good way to go!
The Little Book of Big Change, Dr. Amy Johnson. Try this book. It speaks toward addictions and habits, but truly addresses habitual, repetitive thinking:
Byron Katie’s “The Work” – helps us to question the thoughts that are taking us for a ride. Helps us to see that ultimately no thought is true, so we can save ourselves a lot of trauma by not believing them. This process helps you actually get it that the thoughts aren’t true: Free worksheets, instructions, videos
Breathing to activate vagus nerve and the parasympathetic nervous system: I like this video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QTJOAI0UoU&list=PL77eIgPU1X9_nysxXn0gMhOP4qXh55nl6&index=6&t=368s
My Youtube channel. I have various playlists. All of them offer some kind of upliftment or inspiration. Maybe there will be something there for you!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7AoDFgCJS3ZzhGYUd4gSIA/featured
There are SO many ways to help ourselves remember the truth, even in the face of big stress, fear and anxiety. I’d love to hear some of your favorites! Please post!
Always Love,
Christina