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I think of myself less when I think of myself as MORE

Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself less.  Rick Warren

Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It’s thinking of yourself as part of the Infinite MORE. Christina Brittain

Okay, Life existed WAY before me, and will go on INFINITELY after my blip on the movie screen comes and goes.  But the same Life that made the Universe is what actually ANIMATES my blip.  When it comes down to it, it’s Life that is living us. Showing up as all these forms. Everything from galaxies to amoebas. It’s all powered by whatever it is that organizes all this. Whatever it is that knows how to give birth to universes, and beat hearts, and tell a bunch of cells how to turn into a human. Or turn into who knows what amazing form on some other planet in some other solar system. 

I’m a blip in that always more, never ending, unstoppable river of forms coming into being and passing out of being. In that sense, my story, my troubles, my concerns, my preferences and my ideas about who I am are hard to take seriously. This little human called Christina has this box of thoughts that she takes seriously and thinks is real.

The more I look from this angle, the less I obsess about my personal story.  I give my attention far less to details I thought were important, and far more to that Intelligent Energy that is living me. I think less about myself.  And I am free to think about and feel the MORE of what I am.

Ironically, when I step out of my limited ideas of me and into curiosity about my true identity as Life Force Itself, that’s when I feel such natural awe and reverence for this unique me.  Even this limited me. I feel love and respect for all of her unique story, preferences, opinions, “flaws,” and precious humanness.  The more I think of the MORE of me, the sweeter and lighter are my thoughts about this wonder that is a Christina.

I am humbled to be aware that I am only an expression of the never-ending Creation, which is the real life.  Yet also humbled and aware that I am also a miraculous, one-of-a-kind expression. I am simultaneously in awe of the Life that animates me, AND the specialness of the form that I am privileged to be. 

Personal story can be whatever it is, and yet it’s suddenly opened up and connected to the Big, Eternal Story. I am so tiny. And I am so sacred.  I am completely unique. And I am never, ever separate or alone.

I’m with you, my friends. We’re all in this together. We are the unique ALL’s, together.

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My Extraordinary, ALIVE Beach Walk!

My Very Alive Beach Walk 🙂
Exquisiite Sand Drawings, Dolphins, Seals, Beautiful Heart-Connections
and Stepping Out of the Lie of My Thinking.
A few mornings ago, I was really caught up in some untrue thinking.  And it hurt. A lot. My mind was showing me lots of details and “evidence” about how I am on the “outside.”  It was telling me all about how “other people” have it figured out and are included in life and get to enjoy it. That somehow they are worthy of it, but not me.  You know. Those magical, blessed “other people.” We all have thoughts along these lines. The thoughts themselves are not a problem. Thoughts come and go. That’s what the brain does.  The suffering came from me believing the thoughts. 

Luckily, some part of me was still aware as the witnesser of the thoughts.  There was just enough space between me and the thoughts that I could remember that if it hurts, it’s bogus thinking. 

So rather than continue engaging with the false thoughts and evidence, trying to make myself feel better within the faulty reality of “the problem,” I turned my curiosity and attention to the “witness me.”  And to the moment.  The now.  I gave my attention to this aliveness that I am not only part of, but that I AM. 

I headed for the beach.  I breathed. I talked to myself in the car and admired and appreciated so many things. By the time I got to the beach, I was already feeling the freedom of stepping out of the stories of separation.  A magical morning proceeded to unfold! 

I walked on the beach, continuing to enjoy people, birds, waves… I walked with a smile  on my face that radiating from the inside. When I passed people they smiled too.  I noticed one woman in particular who had such an openness about her. We genuinely saw each other and I felt my heart expand in the few seconds and smiles as we passed each other. 

Towards the end of my walk, I came across some amazing LIFE magic!  Exquisite sand drawings!  Lotus, koi, palm trees, flowers, in mandalas that were so beautifully made! The drawings included these phrases in the design or placed nearby: 
You matter. 
You are amazing. 
Be a kind human.
And, yes, “Breathe. You are alive.”

Messages just for me. Yes, I AM alive. Right now!  No waiting to figure out how to get “in” to life.  And yes, I am learning to be a kind human – to myself too!

I went back to my car to get my phone to take pictures, and when I returned, the smiling woman I’d seen earlier was there.  And we had an amazing, heart-connected, conversation about our appreciation of life, including each other!  It brought us both to tears, we were so moved by the gift of the drawings, the gift of the blessings of life, and the gift of our encounter. 

When I retrieved my phone, there was a text from a dear person wanting some support. It worked out perfectly for her to come do a session with me on the beach!  While I was waiting for her to arrive, I did some qigong. Smiling and looking out at the ocean, basking in the amazing feeling of BEING ALIVE, I saw the magic of dolphins playing in the surf. When the woman arrived, during our session we saw a seal, too!  Then, when I arrived home, heart full and feeling so nourished by life, a neighbor had left another colored-in coloring page for me to find. This one saying “We All Belong.” 

Yes, me too. You too. We all belong. We are all part of life, and that never changes – even if we THINK it does and have a moment of believing that thought.  Breathe. You are alive. Right now. No “worthiness” to achieve.  No figuring out needed. 

You matter.
You are amazing.
Be a kind human – to yourself as much as to others.
Breathe. You are alive!

/by