You don’t have to try to be good. You are good. I’ve noticed a theme over the years with clients, friends, and myself. The drive to “be good.” Or, to “do it right.” And of course we are seeking approval, love and validation. From our parents, from society, from our peers, etc… ”Doing it right” is really subjective, depending on whose definition of “right” we are striving for! These are standards that we’re trying to live up to that have nothing to do with who each of us are, as individuals! The thing is, that people laying down rules of conduct and standards of behavior are often trying to enforce those rules because it is really much more convenient – for them! – if we behave in a way that makes them feel comfortable! Sometimes, the rules of conduct are supposed to be for our own safety. But the trouble with all these rules about “how to be good” is that they encourage us to follow voices and authorities outside of us. They divert us from feeling into things and deciding for ourselves. They steer us away from our own inner guidance system, and our own ability to know what is right and wrong for us as unique people. And what is right for us can change in any given moment, and is pretty hard to make any set of rules about.
I am here to say that if you being you according to you is inconvenient for anyone else, so what! It’s okay! You being you according to you is likely the whole reason you came here! Makes sense to me anyway – but listen to yourself on this and everything else! You can trust your intuition. You can trust yourself. You are good. Without even trying. We are pieces off the ol’ Divine Block! There is no way we can be anything but good. So, go forth into your effortless, fun goodness!
But first, a favorite poem by Mary Oliver:
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.