There is a voice in my head that is making itself sick trying to get well.

It’s been there my whole life – the part that is sure there is a problem and needs to fix it.  “Getting healthy” is its favorite, BIGGEST PROBLEM to obsess about.

Your “fixing problems voice” might be trying to control everyone so that you can trust them. 😉 Or constantly looking for all your flaws so you can be perfect.  Or obsessing about finances or food so you will never have to think about money or weight!  😉

Our brains all have a voice that is warring with itself over how to get peace. 

But that voice isn’t us.

We keep walking into the middle of the conflict. Keep joining in to solve the issue.  Keep stepping onto the hamster wheel of that topic and keep it spinning.

Even though we’ve been doing it for a long, long time, we don’t have to.

I’ve been leaving my mind more often. Letting it go on warring and worrying about my safety.  It means well.  But it’s confused. And the obsession just isn’t what I’M interested in. 

I have a lot more time to play now!
To be in the world!
To actually experience being well.

You do too. I hope you go play with the games you really like and let your mind do its thing without your undivided attention for awhile!

Hugs,
Christina

Hi everyone!  Wow. I miss you.  I miss being in connection with you. I miss telling you I love you. It’s been a long time since I wrote, and it’s just TIME!  I’ve been busy in a really good way.  My practice, personal life, health and sense of wonder are all THRIVING. 😀  I feel so lucky!  To be here. To be, you know, alive and participating. The story of life keeps unfolding.  And the more I live, the more in awe I am that I’m even here to be part of it.  Wild. 
 
Heart connection is probably my favorite part of this wild ride.  So I’m re-connecting with you all.  I just want to share some thoughts, some upliftment, tell you I love you periodically, share an insight when it occurs to me and share my awe freely.  So I’m hoping to share shorter, not-fancy posts that just say hi and maybe give you a sense of connection too.   
 
The world keeps doing its miraculous existence and unveiling itself, moment by moment. To me, that becomes so much more joyful when I get to SHARE it with other human hearts. Thank you for reading this and sharing life with me, everyone.  More emails to come. I hope you enjoy them….
 
So much love to you all,
Christina
 
PS: If you can think of someone who would get some love, fun or other lightening up from this, please share this email with them by forwarding it!  And while you’re at it, why not use it as an excuse to tell ‘em you love ‘em? Send them some warm fuzzies as only you can!  Sharing good stuff gets better with more ripples out……. <3

I. A.m. T.h.e. S.p.a.c.e. B.e.t.w.e.e.n. M.y. T.h.o.u.g.h.t.s.

Invisible Presence,
Aware. The particular
Movement of the mind doesn’t
Truly Matter.
Histories come and go.
Eras, galaxies, individuals and their stories. None of it
Personal. All expressions of the possible within the
Alive
Cosmos of the
Eternal
Beingness – The
Timeless
Witness to
Everything. That Invisible Presence is what will always
Exist. That is the
Nearest things to a true
Me or a true
You that we can find. We are not our
Thoughts.  Maybe not even our feeling
Hearts.  But the constant,
Open space that allows it all to
Unfold in. A
Glorious, Shining space that
Holds and adores, animates and
Thrives every
Single, holy thought, story, creation – and is none of them at all.

Inspired by a recent session with a client who realized that her job (LIFE) might become a lot easier and give her more freedom if she treated it as an experiment in just enjoying her experience!

I know right?  As IF
I mean, we’re talking about ME here! 😉

You remember the movie, “The Matrix?”  There’s that scene where Morpheus and Neo “upload” themselves into the mind program where there is a martial arts dojo. Morpheus is going to teach Neo how to apply all the kung fu that Neo just learned in theory.  Then they get busy with some super impressive, physics-defying kung fu practice.  The point is for Neo to learn that all the rules of the physical world don’t actually apply in the matrix, the mind world.  At one point, Neo stops in their practice to bend over and catch his breath.  Morpheus leans close to Neo and asks quietly, “You think that’s air your breathing now?”  Neo is quietly shocked into remembering that he is in a computer program – there are no actual physical limitations in the program but his mind is used to them so he keeps playing by those rules. He catching his breathe to let his physical body rest, but his body isn’t even part of the exercise. It’s all being played out in his mind.

It’s like that for all of us. We’re used to thinking about things in a certain way.  Thinking they’re real. If Neo was doing kung fu fighting with his actual body, well then yes – he would need to catch his breath. And he would behave in a certain way and adhere to the laws of physics or else he would definitely get hurt.  If he tried to run up a wall, float in the air to land a kick, jump over a ravine – his body wouldn’t be able to perform what his unlimited imagination suggested.  

When I was a kid, it made sense to adhere to the physical rules of my household (and family and school and society) or else I got hurt.  One of the rules was I needed to see myself as inferior, impaired, weak, and always trying to make up for my inherent lack of value.  (That is so off from the truth about me or anyone that it makes me feel icky just to write that!)  So many of us have similar versions of that misconception. “Who do you think you are?!” our elders might demand, implying that we are in truth nobody and definitely not entitled to love ourselves.  Love yourself?!  That’s clearly conceited!!  And clearly conceited people are bad people, have no character and “they’ll get their come-uppance!”  “Don’t get too full of yourself !” Blah blah blah.  We can see that there are SOO many “rules” that we learned and still adhere to even though if we stop and think about it, those rules aren’t true. 

I got into the habit of thinking I suck. For a long time in my childhood it was safer for me to believe that and behave accordingly. But lately I am really, really waking up to seeing how that way of thinking is just a habit. I keep sucking in the “air” like Neo when there is no air. I keep “sucking” even though there is no suck! 

There. Is. No. Suck.
I just thought there was for a really long time.
Now I have the happy adventure of discovering what is left when I stop “sucking” false air.

And now, dear friends, please join me in a deep breath of fresh, life-giving, REAL AIR and all the freedom that comes with that!

Love,
CB

Okay I am happily embracing my nerdy self right now!  I had to include these clips from the Matrix!  If you want a totally immature humor giggle, click the first image/video!  If you are an actual Matrix fan and or/geek and want to watch that actual cool scene again where Morpheus asks Neo if he thinks that’s air he’s breathing now, click the second picture/video!

(With the Option of Process Art Making)

It helps so much when we can get out of our heads. Otherwise, we wind up in a trance, stuck in a world of the same-same thoughts in between our ears.  It can seem so real.  As if that closed system is actually fact.  So easy to obsess on “the problem.” 

In the past I’ve been super scared that I won’t ever be able to solve or figure out the problem. I think part of me felt that if I stopped obsessing it would get worse.  We think the worry is what is keeping the problem in check. Or we get scared that there really isn’t any way out of the problem, ever.  So we don’t even dare to really look at the possibility of not being consumed by it. 

I didn’t know it was an option to put “the problem” down.  Or at least see it from a new angle.  You know the story of the tar baby…?  The more I engaged with the thoughts, looked at the thoughts, and wrestled with the thoughts, the more stuck on the thoughts I got. 

Life can be easier. It can feel better, more spacious and more possible.  Having a coach really helps to move out of that sticky anxiety and into spacious ease. It’s just straight up helpful to have a partner to reflect back to you. A good listener who sees clearly can offer a new perspective that makes almost literally a world of difference.  I hope you’ll come see me if you’re feeling stuck or scared or just want to feel better, more easeful.  

Oh, and simple “art” is an option as a tool in our sessions. Art is such an easy, immediate way to get out of your head.  It helps us to let go of the same-same, obsessive thinking and learn to feel for and follow something that feels more alive and spacious. 

It also let’s us talk about energy, patterns and the transient nature of emotions, thoughts and perspectives.  I have several folks that are enjoying art as a tool even in zoom sessions.  I just wanted to make sure you know that using art as a doorway is available as an option.  Crayons on paper, writing, gentle moving of the body, etc – some or all of that can always be included in our conversations if that appeals.  

If you or someone you know could use a helper to see clear of some anxiety, worry, problem-fixation, fear, self-doubt or anything you or they are struggling and suffering through, I would love to help.  If you’re not sure, please give me a call and I’m happy to answer your questions.

Lastly, I just want to say that my work, these conversations I have with you, bring me truly immense joy!  There is no way I could NOT be doing this work.  I delight in the expansion with you.  I hope you’ll come play in the spaciousness and love with me.

I love you and I love life so much,
Christina

What I Need Is Right Here

Welcome you to your life. No more
Holding yourself apart. You are
Allowed here. To
Thrive and thrum. To move freely in this aliveness.
Invite yourself to every moment.
No barrier to
Earn your way through into
Elusive worthiness and
Deservability. To somehow have access to what others seem to have.

Include Yourself in the
Simple truth that
Reality doesn’t separate its
Infinite
Glory from you.  Ever. For any reason. The
Home and wholeness; the love and fullness; the joy is
There inside you. The
Heart of the Universe, the never ending richness of
Existence Itself – You are
Ready to let yourself know that, yes?  To
Experience what you thought was “over there.” It’s here.  You ARE everything,
            offering Itself to Itself. That is the whole dance. 
            Even when your mind has you convinced you’re a wallflower,
            the never ending music pours through your veins, sways your
            body, carries your feet….
            The rhythm of love spins and twirls in every exquisite, sacred cell.

~~~~~~~~~
Love, CB

Hi everyone.  Some of you know that my incredibly powerful friend has actually been healing herself from pretty advanced cancer.  We around her are in awe. She’s a super hero! Her friend Micheline is one of the many other super heroes in the love posse helping Sarah right now.  Sarah calls Micheline “Hearth Woman.”  You ain’t gonna find a more grounded, strong, stable body and psyche pretty much anywhere.  And you certainly can’t outdo Micheline’s  superpowers as a kitchen witch, heart and hearth tender. Anyway, Micheline commented once that Sarah is making changes on a causal level. The basic, foundational level of vibration. I agree. In my eyes, Sarah is birthing herself into a new paradigm. She is shifting the reality she lives in. Those of us in her circle are all impacted so profoundly. There is an event, a vortex happening in this healing and in the circle of family and friends.  I can feel that we are shifting the realities we live in too.
 
Sarah has talked about the vortex around her. Something big is going on, and Sarah feels that it isn’t about her healing.  She said it may LOOK like it’s about her healing, but the way she sees it, LIFE is just doing its business of creation.  So many, many people and nuances of detail are involved and swirling around Sarah’s healing. Life is moving through us too. Life gathered us together, a natural process of drawing in the right elements. The way nature draws in, draws upon, draws together all the parts of the ecosystem that are needed as it unfolds its usual miracles. The miraculous that happens every single day as a mundane function of the infinitely creative process of LIFE. Of course I see through my lens…. But to me, all of us in the vortex are undergoing our own causal, vibrational, foundational shifts in paradigm.
 
Of course, I have been on my own journey, my own unfolding. We all are. And I can feel that my own alchemical process had been shifting in a new way before Life enfolded me in the vortex around Sarah.  “My” vortex, “Sarah’s” vortex, Life just doing its usual business of creation – it’s all the same thing, looked at from different angles.
 
Anyway, there has been so much clarity and so many insights in the last month in particular for me.  I feel that fundamental shift within me that I will never fully understand.  Isn’t that life?  A tremendous, unfathomable, endless evolution in each of us – most of which we’ll never even be aware of.  Yet change – evolution – keeps living us. And our insights, however plenty and HUGE they may be, are only tiny, tiny inklings of the Infinite Movement of the Power that is moving us.  As it animates and evolves EVERYTHING.  As it dances itself through us, as us…..
 
Well, that is a long, existential preamble to share with you that I will be postponing my classes for a bit.  I am not even sure what I planned to teach will still make sense after a few more trips around the swirling vortex I am in!  Maybe I’ll end up teaching the same classes I had planned!?!  Regardless, Life is calling my energy and attention toward this, this…whatever it is I seem to be participating in!  I will of course keep you posted. I feel so thankful that you are all here with me, listening, caring….. I feel you. Blessings to each of you in your vortex, connected to THE Infinite movement of Creation Itself.  We are always, always in this together. Because there is really only one thing, one Life goin’ on…..
 
I love you.
Christina
Ps – see my little poem below based on Micheline’s phrase “On A Causal Level.”


Hello Dear Friends.  In the mind-boggling state of the world right now, my mind is understandably scaring me with “what if’s” and with “what is’s!”

What really leaves me in awe though is the message I get when I go inside.  When I really listen below the neck, when I listen inward to the connected Infinite, when I acknowledge that I don’t know anything and feel into the mystery rather than figure out or “know” with my mind – this message keeps coming back to me: “joy in the body.”  Joy in the body brings me right back to the present moment.  I immediately re-orient to peace.  I can see the beauty here, now.  There are no questions. Just a following and a celebration of the fact that I am alive right now and I get to experience all of it.  Joy in the body.  THAT is one of the surprising things that is coming through for me now.  And it tells me about any action needed, moment by moment.  

For others, their authentic message is to feel their grief. To feel their rage. To feel their aloneness, confusion, doubt, fear……..  And for others I am hearing a surprising freedom in surrender, hope, opportunity.  I am hearing others feel a powerful new strength in standing up for themselves or their children. A new conviction and confidence.  All of it is allowed. All of it is wanted and cherished by the great Infinite Intelligence that is powering all of it! All of US.  

What is coming through YOU, right now in this time?  I really, really would love to explore and share this with you.  Please join me as I share some practical exercises and tools for getting clear and connected about what is authentic for you right now. As well as practices to stay connected and/or stay in tune as what is coming through you shifts (and it will!!)  I’ll lead you through some concrete exercises you can stick in your tool belt, and you’ll have an opportunity to get some coaching from me about what is specifically coming through you.  

3 Part Class 
Mondays, September 13, 20 and 27, 6-7:30PM, $75 for all 3
Pre-registration required
email me at [email protected] or register via Meetup here:

Wonders really never do cease.  The Mystery pours forth every day.
Wellbeing keeps
Thriving and
Creating!  How ungraspably amazing that it does that
Through US!  Blessed when we know to feel for the
Miracles being born in our ideas and dreams, in the words
we speak and in the sweet, simple
 acts of washing dishes, drinking tea and the brave,
human journey of putting one foot
in front of the other as we walk into each next
unknown moment of being alive.

Below is a coloring page for you to print and color in yourself! Click on the image and it will open in a new window as an 8.5×11 image for you to print! (Or you can right click the image and save it to your computer to print!) And I would LOVE it if you took a picture of your finished page and emailed it to me! While you are at it, how about playing with making your own word poem like the one above that I made using the first letters of each word in the coloring page? Send me those too, please!! I will post them here!