There’s Nothing You’re Supposed To Do

Hello!  I’ve been thinking about “What if there’s nothing we’re supposed to be doing?” What if there’s no correct answer there’s no correctness that we need to adhere to and make ourselves go in the direction of.  There’s no correct food or correct time to eat.   There’s no correct way of sending an email, or spiritual practice or way of dressing, behaving or being.  There’s no external correctness that we need to somehow adhere to.  I’ve been noticing that subtle voice in my head and in so many other people’s heads. So much time spent figuring out “how I’m supposed to be” – for all of us.  And we all know where we got that. There’s lots of places where we got that conditioning, that confusion that somehow homogeneity is the same as harmony. It’s not.

Implied in that idea of “supposed to,” which we can all relate to, is the message that something about us is not acceptable, not right. And that we need to narrow ourselves down to what we’re allowed to do. What we’re “supposed to do” fits in this tiny box of “allowed,” and anything that doesn’t match that just gets tossed out. Well, that’s a pretty constricted, restricted way to be.  It brings so much pressure internally. Whether or not we’re actually conforming to these ideas or not, there’s a feeling of pressure and “shoulding” ourselves.  Yet the ideas that we’re trying to fit ourselves inside are completely random.  We’ll read a magazine article or book, see a video or something and think “Oh!  That’s what I’m supposed to be doing!”  And so that becomes the “supposed to do” du jour.  When we give it some consideration, it’s easy to see that the ideas really are random.

So whether or not we’re actually trying to make ourselves to conform to these those ideas or not, there’s still this voice in our heads that says “I’m supposed to be doing it.”  Notice that whether you do it or don’t do it, there’s still a feeling of pressure.  You think you’re supposed to be doing whatever IT is, feel the restriction if you’re conforming, or feel badly about yourself if you’re not measuring up to the idea.  We think things like, “I’m supposed to have this particular spiritual practice, I’m supposed to have this exercise routine, I’m supposed to be writing in a gratitude journal every day, I’m supposed to be… “ And these things all sound great, theoretically. Yet it’s such a huge distinction to understand that they are just options. They’re not definitive signs of our worthiness that we must strive to achieve.  

So, what if we step outside of the restrictions of these random “supposed to’s?”  What if we give ourselves room to open up to the fullness of all that we are?  What if we don’t make any part of ourselves wrong and discard it?  What if we let go of those restrictions and get really curious about “Okay, if there’s nothing I’m supposed to be doing, then what?”  Then what?! What would I naturally be doing? Oh!  Oh my goodness!  Natural? Natural, you say?!! What a concept! What if we ask ourselves “What is natural to me?!” 

What is natural to you?  What is natural to me? What if we just did what we do, naturally? What if there is a natural way of being that we don’t even have to think about?  That’s the other thing: “supposed to” requires a lot of thinking and figuring out.  Whereas if we let that go, then we’re just free to be.  There’s nothing to figure out.  What if an oak tree is doing what it is supposed to be doing by being an oak tree and adding its “oak tree-ness” to Existence? What if you are doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing by being exactly who you are? Me too. What if there’s nothing we’re supposed to do and we’re good and wonderful and awesome?  What if we can step back, breathe and let that naturalness live?  I love that!  I love you!  I love me! I love our naturalness! 

I hope that has something for you!  It certainly makes me feel good!  It opens up so much freedom, space and breathing room.  Which allows me to consider possibilities that I couldn’t from inside of the box of “supposed to.” Thank you for reading and sharing all that you are with Existence.  I tell you for certain, that I personally benefit from you being you.

Love you,

Christina