Something happened in my life last week that really rattled me, and I acted out of an uncomfortable feeling of panic.  I’m rarely happy with the resulting actions when I do that. (understatement!) I realized later that THIS is the exact kind of situation that would have been served by having a concrete, physical ritual.  A physical action to take as a way of dropping an anchor and giving myself a pause.  In those moments of fear and extreme upset, it can seem like the action that anxiety is suggesting just HAS to be taken – RIGHT NOW!  The mind wants to take action, (almost any action) to make the anxiety go away.

If I had remembered, I could have physically gone to a Kachina doll I made in Lali’s last workshop.  I would have been able to touch its realness and been able to interact with its image, its textures, its evocations in me – all of which are not constrained by words or my own biases and old methods of surviving the deeply uncomfortable.   The Kachina itself was made with objects from Nature, and made within the container of Lali’s last Kachina workshop.  The intention imbued in the Kachina is an awareness of the inherent connection to Nature’s Wisdom, my wisdom, and ways of being in the world that step outside my mind’s limited understanding and conditioning.

Yes, the Kachina reminds me of wisdom that is already inherent within me and everywhere, accessible at any time. Yet it is such a gift to have a non-verbal, natural-image portal to help me step into Larger Wisdom Systems that can show me new options in really uncomfortable situations that threaten my mind and make it want to cling to known (currently unhelpful) patterns. 

Fresh from this real-life situation, I am so newly curious, open and glad to be participating in Lali’s springtime Kachina-making workshop.  It starts this Saturday and I’ll be helping her do Zoom stuff. And I’ll be making a new Kachina and re-grounding myself in the beauty of innate, pre-language, vast information of Spirit. 

I sense that some of my knee-jerk reaction had to do with the general agitation in human consciousness that we are experiencing right now!   Maybe making a Kachina and reconnecting to Natural Wisdoms bigger than what we already know appeals to you too right now. If so, I hope you’ll register and join us. 

Regardless of whether or not this workshop lights up as a path into that wisdom for you right now, I celebrate YOU and YOUR wisdom.  I stand in the knowing that WISDOM is all innate in all of us. Because we are nature, we are LIFE ITSELF.  We all will find our paths into new ways of seeing and remembering that we are WHOLE, ONE and inseparable from whatever intelligent energy it is that creates all Life.

As always, thank you so much for reading this and for sharing this awe-inspiring ride with me! 
Love, Christina

A couple of little poetic musing presented themselves and I couldn’t decide which one to include!  So I posted both below! (They are based on the letters of the words “Health Is What’s Already Happening.”

Home base is wellbeing.
Existence is
Arranged this way.
Life
Thrives.
Harmony is
Inherent in its
Simple,
Wise
Habit of
Allowing, allowing…
Time and intrinsic
Structures of creative evolution and growth are
Already
Lined up for
Right, ready, eager
Expansion. The
Absolute
Design is for
Yes. Yes!  “Yes! What else?!”,
               says the Curious Universe?
               The Whole is already
               behind and inside of –
Helping
All seemingly individual
Parts.  The Intelligence
Present
Everywhere in
Nature – So
Innate in our
Numinous cells, our
Genes, our bodies of Life, home sweet Life.

___________________and/or this version! ______________________

Home base.
Existence
Allows –
Lends
Time,
Harmony,
Innate,
Simple
Wisdom.
Held
Always,
Truth
Shines.
All
Lines
Ready.
Enter
Absolute
Dawning –
Yes!
Heaven
Already
Present.
Peace
Encoded
Nature.
Individual
Numinous
Genes.
—————–
Loving you all,
Christina

It dawned on me awhile ago that my “meditations” were often about doing something.  Working on myself, fixing myself, healing myself, inquiring, praying, asking, directing energy, figuring something out, getting peaceful, reaching for a particular feeling (in order to achieve something particular), or trying to quiet.  I am literally giggling right now as I type this.  So cute, so silly, so understandable!  Maybe like you, I was so sure it was hard to feel wellbeing.  I was making it complicated and scrambling to DO something to get there, rather than realizing that wellbeing is the default setting of, well, everything.  As the quote goes, “The place you are looking for is where you are looking from.” ― St. Francis of Assisi  There are many, many similar quotes from various spiritual teachers throughout the ages. (see below!)
 
For me, there is a clear connection between simplicity and truth.  In my experience, it’s the mind the makes things complicated. The mind, the identity, the “doer” wants things to be complicated and hard. Minds like to have things to figure out, be busy and have a lot to do!  So, what if all that is busy work, but unnecessary. What if St. Francis and the bunch were right?  What if we are trying to get something we already have, already are?
 
So my favorite meditation right now is this:
 
“Hello God.”
 
I get comfy, say hello to God, and simply sit in the presence of The Something Bigger.  It is that Presence (Love, Light, Source, God, Nature) that aligns everything.  That Something Bigger, that Life Force Energy, takes care of every single particle of the universe(s).  Nature knows where everything goes, how it fits together, the perfect connection, the inherent unfolding.  I, from my limited perspective, don’t have to figure out, do or direct anything.  I just say “Hi God.”  And I sit in that.  And I feel it.  AAAhhhhhhhh…… Such a relief.  I realize how much pressure my thinking has put on me to be in charge and responsible for things that I have never been in charge of. My whole being relaxes when I remember that the miraculous, unknowable Something Bigger has always been taking care of everything.
 
Smiling and loving this human ride with you,
Christina
 
————————————
 
PS, that whole “what you are looking for is where you are looking from idea has been expressed by many mystics and spiritual teachers. Here is a list of variations, which I’ve included because they are like little, sweet candies! 
 
“What you are looking for is what you are looking with.” -Ernest Holmes
 
“The place you are looking for is the place from which you are looking.” -Mooji
 
“What you are looking for is already in you… You already are everything you are seeking.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
 
“The truth is that you already are what you are seeking. You are looking for God with his eyes. I suggest you ask, ‘What’s ultimately behind this set of eyes?’ Turn around to see what is looking.”
-Adyashanti
 
“What you seek is seeking you.” Rumi 

Following Bigger Guidance vs. Following Your Mind
The mind knows no answers, the heart knows no questions.
– Buddhist saying

Each book we read in our book club is really about exploring who we are, what our minds and thinking are, and the nature of The Something Bigger.  Right now we’re reading The Surrender Experiment, by Michael Singer.  Our conversation has been about what the heck surrendering is, anyway. Why is it a good idea? What is it in us that feels really uncomfortable with that?  What is it we’re surrender TO?

We realize that the mind has an agenda and preferences from its small vantage point, but there is a Bigger Force that sees the big picture and can orchestrate all life in an obviously more intelligent, beautiful way.  In our group, we’re realizing that “surrendering” really means allowing ourselves to move with that larger, natural flow of life force energy. So surrendering is really about moving with whatever is life affirming.  Sometimes the mind, in its limited ideas, tries to force things, control things or restrict things because it feels safer. Our minds are innocently trying to protect us, but from a very limited point of view. Because of that, our minds will tell us to do all kinds of things that aren’t so helpful.  

Someone in the group recently asked, “But how can I tell if the guidance I am getting is from my mind or from that Flow of Life?” Ahh!  One of my favorite topics! 

The truth is always in the feeling.   And you can sense that energy in your body.  If we move below the neck and give our attention to the quality of the energy moving through us, it will tell us what is life affirming and what is our mind trying to get us to do something from a small, protective perspective. 

As a group, we started to form a list of indicators that would help us surrender to Life (God, The Universe, Wellbeing, Nature, Source, Love) rather than follow the misguidance of our well-meaning minds.  

Here’s a partial list in case it might be helpful to you too!  And of course we’ll all experience this differently at different times and in different situations. But these might be some helpful clues and indicators for you!

It’s coming from our little mind’s preferences and comfort zones if:
It feels like tension
You’re upset and agitated
You feel defensive.
You feel like you need to “draw the line,” “set your boundaries,” or “not get pushed around.”
You’re confused.
It feels complicated.
It feels like pressure (mentally or even physically)
You feel a sense of urgency and like you have to take action RIGHT NOW! 😉 
You might be torn between two or more options.
You want to take some action or make some decision because it feels so uncomfortable to have things be “up in the air, “undecided, and unknown.  The mind hates this and will push to make any decision just so it can know. 
It feels like contraction.
It feels really familiar.
               E.g.: “Oh, I recognize this theme or pattern, even though the details look different.”

Guidance that is coming from a Bigger, Loving Perspective, feels more like:
Peace
Ease
Calm
You feel open
You feel clear.
It feels really simple, natural and like that’s just how life is obviously moving
You feel relaxed
You feel spacious and like there is no urgency. If there is action to take, there is no rush and there is an obvious, common sense time to take that action.
You don’t really have a question or feel torn.  A single action or direction just is.
It feels like expansion.
It feels fresh, bringing a sense of newness or opening.

It was helpful for us as a group to talk about these differences, and to realize that we really can feel the difference in our bodies. We are all equipped with the ability to relax into the flow life, because we all feel the physical sensations, tensions and easing in our body that shows us the way. We all intuitively know that if it feels awful and like contraction, it’s not the natural way of Life.  Blessings in your feeling journey, everyone!  Blessings in your relaxed, innate alignment with Life! 

The question of natural vs. normal came up recently in The Little School of Big Change community.  The idea here is that “normal” is what is commonly done, the usual, the conventional or even conditioned habits.  The generally accepted attitudes we adopt without thinking.  What is natural to us might be entirely different.  As in, it might be normally expected that a person would feel upset if they lost a job.  “Well, of course I’m sad – anyone would be.”  Yet if the person felt into it before the usual orientation kicked in, they might realize they are feeling a profound sense of freedom to move on to something else, excitement, gladness to be letting go of something that wasn’t feeling good anyway, and any number of other possible responses that could be someone’s natural response to that circumstance.

When we move this into the personal, it gets even juicier for me.  For example, what has been “normal” for me in many areas of my life is clearly not what is actually natural.  I’ve had periods in my life where it was my usual to get upset and feel insecure if someone didn’t like me.  That was my “norm.”  And it was normal for me to not sleep well. But that isn’t natural. And I’ve had a “normal” way of eating that I learned that is absolutely not natural.  

There are a lot of things that have been normal for me that I have learned and have become habitual behaviors that I do without thinking.  Really, I’ve never really thought to ask, what is natural for me? What are my natural rhythms, preferences, ways of being?  How does my unique body, personality, being respond in this situation, in that moment?  What arises naturally out of the “creature of me” as it responds to a new moment?  

What is normal for you? And is that the same as what is natural for you? If you’re like me, you might not have been given a chance as a kid to follow your natural impulses. But we can certainly be curious about that now.  That curiosity can open the door to living our lives in a way that is much more authentic, present and in alignment with natural, life-affirming ways of being! It’s really been eye-opening and freeing to ask myself if something feels normal or if it feels natural.  Maybe it has some juice for your naturally wonderful self too?!