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I Found My Place At The Table

I lived in my town, La Mesa, for 8 years before it dawned on me that “la mesa” is Spanish for “the table.”   I’ve been trying to find my proverbial (and fairly literal) place at the table for as long as I can remember. I speak some Spanish and knew that “la mesa” means “the table.”  But I was so focused on trying to get to the table, that I couldn’t see that I had arrived.  The short version is that I was raised with the strong message that food – and life – were for other people.  Very understandably, throughout my entire life, my mind has been trying to figure out ways out of that closed, no-win premise. 
 
But the premise isn’t real.  It’s just not true.  This misperception of lack and disconnection has caused so much suffering in myself, others and the world.  The panicked grabbing for more: trying to fill up a perceived need for belonging with substitutes like too much TV, shopping, foods, drugs, the illusion of control……   Substitutes that leave us with empty bellies, hearts and the same painful untruths.
 
As the mirage fades, I see what is really there.  We already belong.  We are already full of connection, enoughness, resources, safety, love…..   Now I see the sparkling feast of life itself.  I see that there is a place for me and that there always has been.  I see that everyone is an honored guest at this banquet.  This buffet of experiences.  And – sweet awe! – that we are all welcome to choose freely from the vast array of offerings.  We, I, will not be given a frantic 5 minutes to cram in whatever comes to hand first, making do with whatever we can get but left unsatisfied.   Food, human connections, work, play, creativity, and all of the endless variety and forms of aliveness are here for us.  Life is available.  Welcome, honored and celebrated for always, we can come and go, taking what actually truly nourishes us at any given time.
 
It’s hard to comprehend the never-ending abundance of this feast of offerings.  Truly, we can be in awe at the very fact that a table even exists!  When we pause to reflect, it’s an amazing thing that there is a table.  And a chair. And a body and beingness here to witness and wonder at it all in the first place. The first place. The original place. The natural place at the table. It’s clear to me now that I’ve found (remembered) my place here at the table.  It’s obvious that we all have a place here. That we all belong. How can it be otherwise? Life is not missing anything. It’s whole, and in the definition of wholeness all the parts are included.  We are all included. We are all most revered guests.  And the feast is infinitely more because we are all here together.  Dear friends, we all have a home here at the table.  My heart is so full to see you seated here with me.

—–
So much love,
Christina

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Hello To The Energy That Powers Everything

Colored by the Rockstar Goddesses Kimberly Bell!

H.E.L.L.O. T.O. T.H.E. E.N.E.R.G.Y.

H olding nothing,
E verything comes.
L ife
L ives me, as me, through me –
O pening me and all
T ruer and truer to the
O ne Energy with infinite forms.
T hankful, celebrating the eternal
H alleluiah with
E very
E xpression of creative
N othing birthing, blinking into and out of that next play of
E xistence.
R eady – I am ready, available,
G lorious in your, as
Y our Presence.

~~~~~~~
Hello to the energy as YOU.  Loving that you,
Christina

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ABC Insights: C is for Change

Naturally shifting, easing, pressure is relieved, energy is free to flow on.  Bearing down and trying hard, we hold things in rigid defense and structures that are too tight to move. 

Exhale, soften….and there is space for fresh possibility.

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ABC Insights: C Is For Center

I have the experience that when I’m not in my center my energy is “out there.”  Diffuse.  Scattered.  There is the feeling that it has nothing cohesive or integrous to organize around.  I’m blowing in the wind of my thoughts, other’s thoughts and influences, putting out fires and doing things in a reactive mode.  I have no sense of my own presence.

When I give my attention to the core of my body, I come into direct contact with an intelligent aliveness.  There is a calm truth and wide open connection and receptivity to the moment.  I feel myself at my center. And I also feel the presence of a knowing.  Or even an okayness with not knowing, regardless of whether or not this moment seems to need a direction, an answer or some kind of guidance. 

“Okayness” is at the center.  The center of the universe is at the center.  It helps me so much to pause and slow down to re-feel that okayness. To re-feel the steady fact of my existence. To sense again that this is where I live. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Feeling love for you from the center of it all,
Christina

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You Are Here

Colored by the Rockstar Goddesses Kim Bell and Kory Dyszkewicz!


Y ak yak yak….  In the room of the mind, the TV is always
O n.  The incessant noise, explosion of flickering pictures, soap operas, sitcoms, ticker tape “news.”  We sit glued
U nder the influence, under the trance. Blink. A Bigger Magic always breaks the spell.  Five minutes or fifty years, we always stir, get up, go to


A nother
R oom in the house.  The one at the center.  The room that is
E mpty.  Still. Quiet. Alive.


H ere, we breathe again. Standing fresh, awake in the
E ternal Presence – the Awareness that has always been
R eceiving every moment and
E xperiencing the ecstatic fullness of sweet Nothing.


~~~~~~~
Here with love, in the center room with you,
Chris

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ABC Insights: B is for Bite-Sized

I like simplicity. I feel truth in it, and so alignment with how I feel that life actually works. For me, complication and overwhelm come when I try to take it all in at once. When I try to figure it out, get there, get it done, plan it or know it ALL AT ONCE. ABC gives me a sweet, bite-sized structure for my work and my expressions. It invites me to share in the feast of aliveness with you, one delicious bite at a time. 

Truly, sincerely, thank you for being at the table with me! 
Love,
Christina

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We Have Always Been Enough

I. H.A.V.E. A.L.W.A.Y.S. B.E.E.N. E.N.O.U.G.H.

I rreplaceable me. I am
H ere.
A live in the way that only I can be. Life
V iews Itself,
E xperiences Itself as it can only through my unique
A wareness.  My affinity for the things I
L ove. The particular curiosities I
W onder about. The
A ffirmation of Life that my own sweet voice of
“Y es!” Brings to the
S inging Presence behind all
B eing.
E xistence isn’t
E verything without me. Or without you. 
N othing is
E xtraneous. Anyone or anything is no more or less miraculous.
N ow, as I am, I am
O ne of the indispensable notes of the
U nlimited Melody.  We are the Intelligent, Eternal Music.
G orgeous, whole, full and enough in our parts. We are the inextricable
H armonies of the One Song of Light.

~~~~~~~
So much love and reverence for all of our unique, beautiful voices,
Chris

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A is for All or Nothing

Hey everyone!  I love to share with you!  I love to be in heart connected conversation about who we REALLY are!  That knowing brings such expanded freedom, peace and enjoyment of life.  But sometimes writing to you can get me in my head. Prose can trip me up.  That’s why it has worked so well for me to have the sweet format of coloring pages. And more recently, I’ve been doing those simple poems that begin with the letters of the coloring page messages.  

I was reading Brother David’s Gratitude Journal and in it he described a gratitude game of going through the alphabet, looking around for something to be grateful for that starts with each letter.  It occurred to me that Brother David’s alphabet idea is another wonderful, simple vessel for me to share through.  Coloring pages, simple poems, and now an alphabet of insights and quick thoughts…!  I’m really curious to go through the alphabet at least once!  I’ll offer an insight on something that spontaneously occurs to me that begins with the current letter.  I’ll post one every Monday for 26 weeks!  Thank you for sharing along with me – and for all of the insights that YOU have all shared with me as we’ve gone along! 
So much love!
Chris

Here is the first one!!!!!

A is for All or Nothing:

What if all or nothing is another way of saying flight/flight or freeze?  All or nothing comes out of a mind afraid of lack. If I perceive that I lack safety, I must manage that danger.  And if some part of me identifies food, money, another person or anything else as HOW I can get safety, then I grab it, hurry after it, or shut down and protect myself from the absence of it.  All or nothing has nothing to do with inner guidance that is free to move in a world of wellbeing.  It has everything to do with the mind’s misunderstanding of life.   Life, infinite as it is, IS a vast more-than-enoughness. And so are we. Right here. Right now. As we are.  As part of life, wellbeing and enoughness is what we ARE.  When we know this, we can stand balanced in the center, listening to natural, inner direction instead of acting on panicked extremes of how to get the wellbeing that is “out there.”

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B.I.N.G.O. Song! I Am Not My Thoughts!

Here’s the latest reminder song!
I Am Not The Thoughts!
Sung to the tune of B.I.N.G.O!

There comes a time when you can see,
It’s all made of think-ing!
Me! I’m not the thoughts!
Me! I am just love!
Me! I am the one Who watches all the think-ing!

And as the one who watches thought,
I see what I am. Oh!
Me! I am the Love!
Me! I am the Life!
Me! I am the Light
That shines behind the think-ing!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Singing and playing with you!
Christina Brittain!

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It All Happens In The Present

Colored by the Amazing Light we call Kory Dyszkewicz!

I magining the future, I
T ear myself in a thousand directions of IF.
Re-imagining the past, I
A nchor myself in muddy “truths.”
In either direction, I
L eave myself. Over and over I
L ive in a a
H azy fantasy of fabrication, with no
A wareness of the
P resent and its
P eace. But here, in this moment, all my
E nergy is
N ow. Available.
S imple – without the endless, complex details to
I nvest in.
N ow. Available. Simple. I sit on the
T hrown of presence. Whatever it is that I am is
H ere with this
E xtraordinary
P rivilege of witnessing miraculous movement
R oll through me, as me – this unique
E xpression of Infinite Life.
Seated in this
E xquisite place of seeing, I am truly home, held, in the
N exus of formless and form, love and its celebrations. I
T hrum and pulse and revel in the very aliveness of experience itself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thrumming with you, seeing with you, loving with you here in the present moment,

Christina

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