A couple of little poetic musing presented themselves and I couldn’t decide which one to include!  So I posted both below! (They are based on the letters of the words “Health Is What’s Already Happening.”

Home base is wellbeing.
Existence is
Arranged this way.
Life
Thrives.
Harmony is
Inherent in its
Simple,
Wise
Habit of
Allowing, allowing…
Time and intrinsic
Structures of creative evolution and growth are
Already
Lined up for
Right, ready, eager
Expansion. The
Absolute
Design is for
Yes. Yes!  “Yes! What else?!”,
               says the Curious Universe?
               The Whole is already
               behind and inside of –
Helping
All seemingly individual
Parts.  The Intelligence
Present
Everywhere in
Nature – So
Innate in our
Numinous cells, our
Genes, our bodies of Life, home sweet Life.

___________________and/or this version! ______________________

Home base.
Existence
Allows –
Lends
Time,
Harmony,
Innate,
Simple
Wisdom.
Held
Always,
Truth
Shines.
All
Lines
Ready.
Enter
Absolute
Dawning –
Yes!
Heaven
Already
Present.
Peace
Encoded
Nature.
Individual
Numinous
Genes.
—————–
Loving you all,
Christina

A couple of little poetic musing presented themselves and I couldn’t decide which one to include!  So I posted both below! (They are based on the letters of the words “Health Is What’s Already Happening.”

Home base is wellbeing.
Existence is
Arranged this way.
Life
Thrives.
Harmony is
Inherent in its
Simple,
Wise
Habit of
Allowing, allowing…
Time and intrinsic
Structures of creative evolution and growth are
Already
Lined up for
Right, ready, eager
Expansion. The
Absolute
Design is for
Yes. Yes!  “Yes! What else?!”,
               says the Curious Universe?
               The Whole is already
               behind and inside of –
Helping
All seemingly individual
Parts.  The Intelligence
Present
Everywhere in
Nature – So
Innate in our
Numinous cells, our
Genes, our bodies of Life, home sweet Life.

___________________and/or this version! ______________________

Home base.
Existence
Allows –
Lends
Time,
Harmony,
Innate,
Simple
Wisdom.
Held
Always,
Truth
Shines.
All
Lines
Ready.
Enter
Absolute
Dawning –
Yes!
Heaven
Already
Present.
Peace
Encoded
Nature.
Individual
Numinous
Genes.
—————–
Loving you all,
Christina

It dawned on me awhile ago that my “meditations” were often about doing something.  Working on myself, fixing myself, healing myself, inquiring, praying, asking, directing energy, figuring something out, getting peaceful, reaching for a particular feeling (in order to achieve something particular), or trying to quiet.  I am literally giggling right now as I type this.  So cute, so silly, so understandable!  Maybe like you, I was so sure it was hard to feel wellbeing.  I was making it complicated and scrambling to DO something to get there, rather than realizing that wellbeing is the default setting of, well, everything.  As the quote goes, “The place you are looking for is where you are looking from.” ― St. Francis of Assisi  There are many, many similar quotes from various spiritual teachers throughout the ages. (see below!)
 
For me, there is a clear connection between simplicity and truth.  In my experience, it’s the mind the makes things complicated. The mind, the identity, the “doer” wants things to be complicated and hard. Minds like to have things to figure out, be busy and have a lot to do!  So, what if all that is busy work, but unnecessary. What if St. Francis and the bunch were right?  What if we are trying to get something we already have, already are?
 
So my favorite meditation right now is this:
 
“Hello God.”
 
I get comfy, say hello to God, and simply sit in the presence of The Something Bigger.  It is that Presence (Love, Light, Source, God, Nature) that aligns everything.  That Something Bigger, that Life Force Energy, takes care of every single particle of the universe(s).  Nature knows where everything goes, how it fits together, the perfect connection, the inherent unfolding.  I, from my limited perspective, don’t have to figure out, do or direct anything.  I just say “Hi God.”  And I sit in that.  And I feel it.  AAAhhhhhhhh…… Such a relief.  I realize how much pressure my thinking has put on me to be in charge and responsible for things that I have never been in charge of. My whole being relaxes when I remember that the miraculous, unknowable Something Bigger has always been taking care of everything.
 
Smiling and loving this human ride with you,
Christina
 
————————————
 
PS, that whole “what you are looking for is where you are looking from idea has been expressed by many mystics and spiritual teachers. Here is a list of variations, which I’ve included because they are like little, sweet candies! 
 
“What you are looking for is what you are looking with.” -Ernest Holmes
 
“The place you are looking for is the place from which you are looking.” -Mooji
 
“What you are looking for is already in you… You already are everything you are seeking.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
 
“The truth is that you already are what you are seeking. You are looking for God with his eyes. I suggest you ask, ‘What’s ultimately behind this set of eyes?’ Turn around to see what is looking.”
-Adyashanti
 
“What you seek is seeking you.” Rumi 

Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

I recently got an email from someone who asked: “I notice I’m hearing the word “integrate” a lot lately. I’m wondering what that means, or would look like, or???”
 
I thought I’d go ahead and share my thoughts here with you all too!  These thoughts of course are just what currently crosses my mind. And I am so delighted to be in curious conversation with you all!  Let me know how all this feels for you, and what other insights you might have about it!
 
So it seems to me that integration is when something lands and makes sense in a new way. It is having an “aha” moment that can be accompanied by a physical sensation of the body relaxing, opening and settling. For me there is sometimes a sense of something spreading through the body. I can feel that something has moved from a concept in my head, to a surety of feeling and knowing that I actually live.  A new understanding of things becomes the natural ground I’m standing on, rather than something I’m trying to get to. It’s a natural strength or force that expresses itself rather than I an ideal that I’m not quite sure how to make happen in my behavior.
I’ve also noticed in myself that the “aha” moment often happens in slow motion over a period of time.
 
And integration is not really something you can make happen. You can’t make yourself integrate something. For me, integration happens like rain slowly seeping into the ground and saturating it and bringing that life-giving moisture. But you can’t make the rain come.  You just receive it when it comes naturally. And when it comes naturally you can’t force it down into the ground faster than it wants to naturally seep in.  One note here is that a flash of insight can suddenly turn a concept into a direct, felt knowing in the body. An insight can pretty instantaneously make something suddenly real and integrated into our deep sense of knowing.  And yet insights aren’t something we can make happen either!
 
Here’s an example of integration from my own life.  There is a part of my psychology/thinking that’s convinced that there is only lack. That there’s not enough.  That sense can show up as me feeling like there’s not enough time or opportunity.  Then I feel a frantic desperation to grab onto something before it disappears.  My mind says I have to take action quickly, even if things don’t feel quite right, or I have to force things or push harder.  Otherwise, says that part of my mind, I will miss out, and/or “it will never happen.” This whole loop has led to a sense of urgency, and often making decisions quickly without thinking them over because of the panicked pressure to outsmart The Lack. (as though it were a solid factual thing)
 
From a mental concept place, I’m aware of this thinking and I know it’s just conditioning and not true.  For a long time I thought that in order to counter that conditioning, I should make myself move more slowly to “teach” myself a more reasonable way of responding to life.  So I had practices and ways that I was trying to actively change my behavior and remind myself to slow down.
 
Meanwhile, in another aspect of my consciousness, I continued my genuine curiosity about the nature of life.  More and more, I came to see that the stories that my thoughts make up aren’t real. I observed the actual flow of events rather than stories my mind put on top of those events.  I kept having conversations with other people who are curious about these things too.  
 
And at some point it dawned on me that now, somehow, I just DO move more slowly and calmly.  There is far less of a sense of urgency to act.  Thoughts of lack come up, but it’s kind of like they are over there, rather than in my face. The volume has been turned down, the picture faded.  I notice that now I am not driven by thoughts of lack.  I have the ability to savor food, time, people, events…..  I notice that I give myself time and space to decide things. To consider and feel for clear paths forward rather than make a knee-jerk decision based on an old brain pattern that says “Act now!  Supplies are limited!” And looking at it now, I can see that moving more calmly and savoring has gradually become a more natural behavior. That’s because I truly feel it that the nature of life is abundant and spacious. I have been experiencing the truth that I don’t have to rush to make decisions. I have lived the truth that things stick around and continue to be available to me, even if I don’t pounce on them! 
 
I see that this ground of understanding is natural to me now. I have slowed down.  But it wasn’t because I tried to integrate the idea of slowing down.  My genuine curiosity and looking just allowed a truer understanding of life to seep in.  
 
So, dear emailer and all you reading this! I hope my thoughts are a helpful addition to your own curiosity about what integration is for you.  Since of course we are all different!   Thank you for writing to ask me, so that I had the chance to really notice and celebrate my own integration of the calm, sure ground of enoughness!  
 
Love you all and thank you for sharing this whole amazing conversation of LIFE with me!
Christina

Following Bigger Guidance vs. Following Your Mind
The mind knows no answers, the heart knows no questions.
– Buddhist saying


Each book we read in our book club is really about exploring who we are, what our minds and thinking are, and the nature of The Something Bigger.  Right now we’re reading The Surrender Experiment, by Michael Singer.  Our conversation has been about what the heck surrendering is, anyway. Why is it a good idea? What is it in us that feels really uncomfortable with that?  What is it we’re surrender TO?

We realize that the mind has an agenda and preferences from its small vantage point, but there is a Bigger Force that sees the big picture and can orchestrate all life in an obviously more intelligent, beautiful way.  In our group, we’re realizing that “surrendering” really means allowing ourselves to move with that larger, natural flow of life force energy. So surrendering is really about moving with whatever is life affirming.  Sometimes the mind, in its limited ideas, tries to force things, control things or restrict things because it feels safer. Our minds are innocently trying to protect us, but from a very limited point of view. Because of that, our minds will tell us to do all kinds of things that aren’t so helpful.  

Someone in the group recently asked, “But how can I tell if the guidance I am getting is from my mind or from that Flow of Life?” Ahh!  One of my favorite topics! 

The truth is always in the feeling.   And you can sense that energy in your body.  If we move below the neck and give our attention to the quality of the energy moving through us, it will tell us what is life affirming and what is our mind trying to get us to do something from a small, protective perspective. 

As a group, we started to form a list of indicators that would help us surrender to Life (God, The Universe, Wellbeing, Nature, Source, Love) rather than follow the misguidance of our well-meaning minds.  

Here’s a partial list in case it might be helpful to you too!  And of course we’ll all experience this differently at different times and in different situations. But these might be some helpful clues and indicators for you!

It’s coming from our little mind’s preferences and comfort zones if:
It feels like tension
You’re upset and agitated
You feel defensive.
You feel like you need to “draw the line,” “set your boundaries,” or “not get pushed around.”
You’re confused.
It feels complicated.
It feels like pressure (mentally or even physically)
You feel a sense of urgency and like you have to take action RIGHT NOW! 😉 
You might be torn between two or more options.
You want to take some action or make some decision because it feels so uncomfortable to have things be “up in the air, “undecided, and unknown.  The mind hates this and will push to make any decision just so it can know. 
It feels like contraction.
It feels really familiar.
               E.g.: “Oh, I recognize this theme or pattern, even though the details look different.”

Guidance that is coming from a Bigger, Loving Perspective, feels more like:
Peace
Ease
Calm
You feel open
You feel clear.
It feels really simple, natural and like that’s just how life is obviously moving
You feel relaxed
You feel spacious and like there is no urgency. If there is action to take, there is no rush and there is an obvious, common sense time to take that action.
You don’t really have a question or feel torn.  A single action or direction just is.
It feels like expansion.
It feels fresh, bringing a sense of newness or opening.

It was helpful for us as a group to talk about these differences, and to realize that we really can feel the difference in our bodies. We are all equipped with the ability to relax into the flow life, because we all feel the physical sensations, tensions and easing in our body that shows us the way. We all intuitively know that if it feels awful and like contraction, it’s not the natural way of Life.  Blessings in your feeling journey, everyone!  Blessings in your relaxed, innate alignment with Life! 

Inside, there is a Kindness waiting.
A home that Never leaves, is always present with
Open Wide Wings of “I am Here and I love you.”
Allow That Rest.  Your Ears have Longed to hear the
Acceptance, the Exquisite Affirmation That you effortlessly,
Intimately belong.
One. At peace. At home.
From that New surrender, Fresh life can Enter Everything
And Lead you to Soft Lines of Inspiration.
There is a simple Knowing.
A clarity and flow in the Exhale.
Common sense Insights are somehow Newly seen,
Real, Made available because
You Breathed open.
Rejoined the One voice of all things, all possibility.
From this easy home within
There are no Decisions to be made.
Just a watching, a relaxing into life’s eternal continuing,
Continuing, continuing of
Yes, yes, yes……..

Love to you all,
Christina

The question of natural vs. normal came up recently in The Little School of Big Change community.  The idea here is that “normal” is what is commonly done, the usual, the conventional or even conditioned habits.  The generally accepted attitudes we adopt without thinking.  What is natural to us might be entirely different.  As in, it might be normally expected that a person would feel upset if they lost a job.  “Well, of course I’m sad – anyone would be.”  Yet if the person felt into it before the usual orientation kicked in, they might realize they are feeling a profound sense of freedom to move on to something else, excitement, gladness to be letting go of something that wasn’t feeling good anyway, and any number of other possible responses that could be someone’s natural response to that circumstance.

When we move this into the personal, it gets even juicier for me.  For example, what has been “normal” for me in many areas of my life is clearly not what is actually natural.  I’ve had periods in my life where it was my usual to get upset and feel insecure if someone didn’t like me.  That was my “norm.”  And it was normal for me to not sleep well. But that isn’t natural. And I’ve had a “normal” way of eating that I learned that is absolutely not natural.  

There are a lot of things that have been normal for me that I have learned and have become habitual behaviors that I do without thinking.  Really, I’ve never really thought to ask, what is natural for me? What are my natural rhythms, preferences, ways of being?  How does my unique body, personality, being respond in this situation, in that moment?  What arises naturally out of the “creature of me” as it responds to a new moment?  

What is normal for you? And is that the same as what is natural for you? If you’re like me, you might not have been given a chance as a kid to follow your natural impulses. But we can certainly be curious about that now.  That curiosity can open the door to living our lives in a way that is much more authentic, present and in alignment with natural, life-affirming ways of being! It’s really been eye-opening and freeing to ask myself if something feels normal or if it feels natural.  Maybe it has some juice for your naturally wonderful self too?!


W
elcome the internal messages. The things that sing in theHeart – the
Affirmations of Life,
Telling you “Yes, yes, thank you, I love you. The
Flow is this way, my dear one.”
Entertain what feels easy. Let it
Enter, envelop, exit in its clear
Line of direction that
Supports all
Nature, because nature is what you are. Nature is
Alive as you. No need to
Try, to force, anything. The Bigness, the Interconnected
Universe, has got this. Has got you.
Rest in that.
Allow the
Living, simple movement to
Take you along in the
Obvious way of it. The
Meaningful, mysterious design of it All so effortless and
Effulgent.  Equally inherent in each star in the universe,
                   and in each, intelligent cell of your own, natural body.

Love to you all,
Christina

Incandescent
Direction revealed in each
Opening day, in each fresh moment of
Not knowing any sense of past
Time, past rules.
Kneeling at the shackles of pre-decided identities, possibles and
Not possibles, allowed and not allowed is
Over. I thought I knew!  But nothing is really here except
Wonder – and the unending
Yes! of the
Imaginative Universe.  When I tried to
Pin it down – just to know, just to be right or consistent,
Predicting every outcome – I closed my eyes and arms to the
Infinite Allness of being here, truly alive.  How can I “know” anything in this miraculous,
Evolving Life that only says yes to Itsef – and to me – over and over and over again?

Love to you all,
Christina

Incandescent
Direction revealed in each
Opening day, in each fresh moment of
Not knowing any sense of past
Time, past rules.
Kneeling at the shackles of pre-decided identities, possibles and
Not possibles, allowed and not allowed is
Over. I thought I knew!  But nothing is really here except
Wonder – and the unending
Yes! of the
Imaginative Universe.  When I tried to
Pin it down – just to know, just to be right or consistent,
Predicting every outcome – I closed my eyes and arms to the
Infinite Allness of being here, truly alive.  How can I “know” anything in this miraculous,
Evolving Life that only says yes to Itsef – and to me – over and over and over again?

Love to you all,
Christina