The soul is light, the mind is light and the body is light – light of different grades; it is this relation which connects man with the planets and stars.
            –Hazrat Inayat Khan
 
Our mind closes doors. Our heart opens doors.
–Amy Johnson
 
Think of the old axiom, “I think, therefor I am.” It’s not true. We existed before we thought…..It would be much more true to say that “I feel, therefor I am.”
            –Gabor Maté

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I want to enjoy my life.  And I don’t want to wait until I get to the stuff my mind says are “the good parts.”  I want to enjoy all of it.  I want to enjoy this whole thing about being alive as a human. To somehow let in even the most excruciatingly uncomfortable times when my mind and body are squirming to try and make it all stop.  It’s a literally awesome thing to be able to feel the incredible range of experiences we get to have as humans.  It’s wild and unpredictable: the moods, energies, feelings, thoughts and sensations that flow through us in a single day. It’s an unstoppable river of being alive.

But we try to stop it all the time.  We try to shut it out. I just took a great little course with Amy Johnson about leaning into and saying yes to whatever shows up in that river of aliveness.  It was about opening up to the possibility that whatever is arising in any given moment is just energy. It’s not good or bad. It’s just various shades of energy rolling through.  We can lean into all of it and even consider that no feeling is ever a problem.  As Amy said, no one ever died from a feeling.  Her class explored and articulated really well and the whole idea is pretty much what the foundation of my work with people – and with myself.

I want to lean in to all of it.  To welcome, say yes, try to keep my heart open and curious to every drop of experience.  To every expression of energy.  Because leaning in to every moment that I can means that I am leaning into Life Itself. In a weird way, I think it’s possible to enjoy even those extremely uncomfortable moments.  And I want to enjoy every shade of every moment of that mysterious river of light, energy and LIFE!!!

It is a mystery that we can never know with our heads. But we can feel into it.

Hugging every moment in me, hugging every moment in you and hoping you are too.
So much love and enjoyment,
Christina

You are breaking new ground,

Softly,

Like a seed breaks its shell,

Like a tender shoot of green breaks through,

And crumbles, moves aside a bit of earth

Making its way up…

You are breaking new ground

Like winter breaks into spring –

Maybe imperceptibly but undeniably.

The mind plays tricks,

Says you’ll always be standing still.

Standing in the dark, it says everything’s the same

Because it forgets that stillness and darkness are part of the movement.

There is only ever change in the Eternal Rhythm.

There is only ever life.

You are breaking new ground

Like sunrise slowly breaks the horizon

And brings new light, new light to let us see clearly again.

Cramming never gets me more.  For example, cramming more food never fills me up. It only makes me panicked.  Panicked for “the more.”  I’m not even aware of this bite, since I am so focused on “the more.” Focused on the next bite.  Cramming amps up and adds to my feeling of hunger on all levels – physical, mental, emotional…. Cramming seems to come from panic, perpetuates panic and keeps the feeling of emptiness going.

When I rush around in my days, fitting one more chore or one more errand into that five-minute gap, that feels like panic too. It’s really the same exact feeling as a binge, or that wild-eyed, on-line shopping spree. It feels like an out-of-control frenzy for….. For what?  For more, more….. more, something. It gives me the niggling, nervous feeling in my body of some vague pressure. The feeling maybe of not enough time, not enough accomplishment, not enough whatever.

What is it?  What is the desperate, wild need to get…. To fill up a sense of missing out? To sooth that vague, uncomfortable sense of lack. What have I lost? Lost touch with? Disconnected from?  What is it that is driving me?  What is that sense of not okay, not enough…?

The doing more, cramming more in, buying more, one more bite, one more YouTube video doesn’t fill it in but covers it up.  Covers me up. 

Sometimes I can remember to let there be space. To pause. To take a breath and actually question the weird pressure, panic and oh-my-god-make-it-stop discomfort and tension my body is screaming at me.  

When I do, it always amazes me that it actually doesn’t take long before I can feel myself again. I come back to my senses, come back to the moment, my mind and my body calm down. Noticeably, palpably.  There is a slower pace and room around me instead of the squeezing, vague anxiety and pressure.  Somehow, gently there it is: I feel the richness of this raw, sweet, wild and peaceful moment of being alive.  It is quietly waiting in the stillness, the open space of a pause.

Let there be space.

When I let there be space, my honest, simple connection to Life Itself is just, well, present. It’s just there, waiting in the wings for me.  Then it becomes obvious that all of the things I did to try to get connected to life aren’t necessary anymore.  All the things I did to try to connect to wellbeing are clearly seen as substitutes for the Wellbeing Itself. 

I don’t need to rush around in hyper-drive, bingeing on action or things, consuming anything and everything to try to get okay, doing crazy behaviors that never satisfy.  I don’t have to cram my mouth, my schedule, my moments, my mind with all kinds of food, noise, doing, information from one more book or podcast or…..  I can let there be space to see and feel.  The clarity and the connection show up. Suddenly I am aware of the true security and the contentment that this moment is.  This moment is the fullness. It is not an empty stepping stone to the next moment where my mind says everything is promised.

“You can never get enough of what you don’t need, because what you don’t need won’t satisfy you.” — Dallin H. Oaks

Most of the time, when it comes down to it, we really don’t need more.  It’s working for me to pause and let myself become aware again of the truth and wisdom and insight all around me, always. 

Let there be space, and let it fill us up with the beauty of what we already are, and the full, connected enoughness of what already is. 

It’s fall. You might be noticing some old things fall away.  That can be uncomfortable. Sometimes it feels excruciatingly uncomfortable!  CHANGE can be uncomfortable. There is, well, always, some uncomfortable change happening in the world. Right now seems extra. Some of the shift that we’re doing individually is pretty dang uncomfortable too. I feel it in my life, and I’m hearing about it from clients and friends. Sometimes that feels like nostalgia or wishing that things could go back to the way they were or just a general desire for comfort. For safety. For something ELSE to be happening besides what is actually happening right now!
 
I think what eases me is the knowing that change has to happen. Life Itself keeps growing, expanding and moving. That’s the natural, dependable way of it. Water finds a way.  Love finds a way. Beauty finds a way. Growth finds a way. To us, from our limited perspective, sometimes that growth feels like things are off-kilter. Like things are bad, wrong, shouldn’t be happening. But to Life, it’s necessary shift.  It’s natural.
 
WE are life.  YOU are life.  What is happening is for you. As Byron Katie says: Life is happening for you, not to you.  Could we see everything that is happening as a gift from Life?  What if we could embrace and welcome it? For me, even considering that changes my experience of it. 
 
It makes sense to me that I am part of life, not separate. And it makes sense that LIFE is going to change in ways that are necessary even though I might not understand it.
 
So would it help us to maybe relax into the river of shift?  Maybe relax and let the timing take care of itself?  Maybe we can stay open and wonder about what this thought, event, feeling or circumstance might be paving the way for. 

Maybe we can be tender, loving and even appreciative with ourselves as we walk through change.  We’ve been through a lot. And we’re doing incredibly well as we experience those sometimes sudden and other times slow fires of transformation.
 
Take a minute.  This is extraordinary. All the newness that has arrived from previous change is extraordinary. WE are extraordinary.
 
Want to celebrate with me? We can celebrate even as we might be crying.  We can celebrate the fullness together even as things fall away.  And what about even celebrating the falling away itself?
 
I’m sending some gentle love and blessings to you all this fall. In this time of change, our hearts are connected and I really feel that we are always held by Whatever It Is that changes everything.

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So much love,
CB

No one thing is going to be “THE” thing you’ve been looking for.  YOU are a process.  So what you are looking for, needing, resonating with and what is actually helpful to you in this moment will always be different.  You are changing, so what resonates will change too. 

No book, guru, podcast, way of eating, philosophy can ever encapsulate the whole “Truth.”  It can only be one LENSE on the infinite, unknowable Truth. 

BUT we can feel the Truth.  Our beautiful, reverberating bodies can tell us what direction feels open, non-resistant and in general seems to move with a naturalness.  And our bodies can tell us what makes us feel like we want to contract, draw back or what feels forced and just not like something that fits or feels right. 

We are equipped with this amazing resonance system.  It tells us when we are moving with the way things naturally move, and when we aren’t.

If you are looking for the one thing that will finally give you the answer so you can relax and live your life, you’re it.  YOU’RE the “it.” Inside you, that inner navigation system will answer every moment with an accurate resonance. Your mind is busy assessing and gets confused. But your body tells you what is right for you in that moment. 

As I heard a dear person say recently, “It’s not about what’s right. It’s about what’s right for me right now.”

Let all the options be available to nourish the process of you in this moment, rather than trying to make the ever-evolving YOU fit into one tiny perspective of The Infinite Creative Flow of Everything.

You’re it! So what’s right for your “IT” right now?